Mileven One-Shots

[13]Hurt

Ok don't kill me, I'm sorry, school is hella annoying and I haven't felt like writing a lot, so, I haven't updated in like a long time. A lot has happened and I've lost a lot of inspiration since then.

Once again

I'm sorry

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El's pov

I was sitting in class dozing off as the teacher said god knows what. All I could think about was Mike. Mike, Mike, Mike. I hated math class, I had no friends, and we got gargantuos amounts of homework.

I sighed as I started to write.

I wrote down how worried I was, Mike has been distant. I was too much for him and I felt as if he was going go end our relationship.

He wouldn't do that. He loves me, right? If he does, he'll keep trying. Or maybe a break.

After writing about a page I tucked the thin lined paper into my binder and stared at the clock, waiting for the bell.

Luckily I only had a few minutes left and it was 5th period, so I only had one more class left. Mike was in my next class.

The bell rang and I rushed to my next class avoiding annoying people through the halls. I sat down and started writing down our warm up immediately.

Mike sat down two desks away from me. He was also up one desk so I could see him well.

I looked at him, his curly dark hair, so soft to the touch.

His deep chocolate eyes, able to catch and hold my attention so well it felt as if I was in a different dimension when I stared into them.

And his skin. His smooth and untouched skin looked flawless, you could see it from across the room.

I noticed almost everything about him. He was one of the hottest in the school anyways. He turned to me, but he had a look in his eyes.

Something turned in my stomach, his eyes were a bit empty, but overall he seemed mostly fine.

In the middle of class he got up and went passed my desk.

"You okay?" He asked me. I looked up at him, lost in his dimensional eyes.

"I'm scared," I said simply. I sucked in a breath as I continued.

"I feel like you're gonna leave me, I don't want it to end, I love you and I want to work on this relationship," I admitted letting it all out. He looked at me and frowned.

"I love you too," He said simply, and went back to his seat. I sighed, it will be okay.

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At the end of the period I went up to him.

"Mike."

"Yeah?"

"I want to talk to you. Either we walk home together, or tomorrow morning."

"What do you want to talk about?" He asked me. I bit my lip.

"Us, I'm worried, and I want to work it out." I said. He nodded.

"After school, let's go."

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We walked slowly and talked about all of it. It seemed fine.

"I just, don't think I can deal with a relationship," He said slowly.

My heart stopped. My stomach felt heavy but empty. I looked at him with shock at his words. No.

"You're..." I couldn't even finish.

"Yes, I'm, I'm sorry. I just, it's too stressful." He said. Tears were already flooding my eyes and my heart was tugging out of my chest.

No.

"We, what? No, we can take a break, or, I don't know, please, not this," I begged. I had nothing else, it felt like his hand was digging inside of my chest, tugging at my heart.

"No, El. I just can't right now. I don't have the time." That's a lie.

"Why are you truly breaking up with me?" I sobbed.

"Because I, it's too stressful. Your anxiety, everything. I just can't deal with a relationship. I'm so sorry."

I couldn't think straight. It wouldn't end. It couldn't. This can't be happening. This is a dream. Wake me up. No.

I fell onto my knees, begging. At that moment I regretted so much. I wished I could go back in time, change, anything. I would do anything to change for him, to be good enough.

"El..." He sat down beside me and hugged me tight. I sobbed onto his shoulder. I was shocked, I couldn't wrap my head around it.

After a few minutes of calming down, he looked at me and hugged me again.

"I'm gonna go, okay?" He said. I wanted to scream, no, he can't. I was made, sad, hurt, everything. I looked at him.

"Can I kiss you, one more time?" I whispered softly. He nodded and took my chin in his hands.

My quivering lips met his, his sweet lips that I'd never taste again, I put my hands in his soft curly hair, that I'd never be able to feel in this way again, I felt his hand on the side of my cheek more than before, his touch burned my skin.

The hand on my waist tightly held onto me, as if he didn't want to let go. I pushed my body to his, feeling is comforting warmth radiate to mine one last time.

My heart beat out of my chest, I could feel it. I gripped his hair, begging him in my mind to not let go of me, to try harder. Try one last time to change. Anything.

The kiss was full of hurt, passion, and pain. It was let go after a few seconds, I stared into his eyes. He looked fine. I knew mine looked empty and hurt.

He let go of me, and I wanted to do anything but that. I wanted him to hug me tight and tell me he was joking, that he loved me.

He said goodbye, and he was gone. I started walking to a meadow. The meadow where it all began.

Where we hung out every day after school. Where we had out first kiss. Cuddled for the first time. Where out friendship all began.

Memories flooded my head, and the reality began to set in. I could no longer kiss him, hold his hand, hug him, cuddle him, nothing. Ever again.

I sobbed harder than ever, my heart begged for it to be over. My worst fear had just come true. He was gone. He was gone.

"No, no, no, no. I'll change, I'll change, please, no, don't, don't go, please, I'll do anything. Please I'll go back, I'll, I'll change, I-I.." I kept repeating words.

"I'll try to be better please, I'm sorry I wasn't good enough, please, don't, don't leave me alone."

He was gone.

He was really gone.

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Hey guys, well, if you couldn't tell I'm kinda falling into a depression. And that is why. This I'd actually what happened to me, it's been a month and it's still hard. I hope you guys liked it I'm sorry it's so depressing I'll try and write something happier next time.

Word count: 1180