DELERIUM

Eyad

10:00 AM: Nothing in this country opened before noon. With limited options, she took a shower and went back to sleep.

12:30 PM: Slightly more energized she decided to address the barrage of text messages waiting for her. Most of the messages were from the WhatsApp workgroup inquiring about her absence. Scrolling through a series of short repetitive 1-3-word messages,

"Good morning." 

"How are you?" 

"What's wrong?" and so on.

Some of them weren't even questions, just a "Hi"

They were definitely more curious than concerned. Annoyed as she was, she couldn't blame them for their distrust. Considering she calls in "sick" 2-3 times a month it's a wonder they believe her at all, about anything.

Then there was Eyed.

"Awake?"

"Pickup"

"Are you ok?" 

"Please call"

If that wasn't clear and concise enough there were the 5 missed calls in the span of 2 hours. Unmotivated and wide-awake Hannah was paralyzed in bed. The temperature was high, and she was at a loss at what to do with the rest of her day. The advantage of being in a bodiless conscious country was that a Starbucks was never more than an elevator level away. As she watched her phone fill up with empty notifications, her mind began to work backward. Just because she lacked the information of the day doesn't mean she couldn't assume exactly how her day was going to go.

1:30 PM: 5 years and she still didn't know how to translate her order. Unimpressed, Hannah and the barista engaged in the same song and dance.

He asks her where she's from. She says "American".

He asks where she is "really from."She repeats "American"

The barista translates her order.

Hannah repeats her order back to him newly translated.

Some meaningless gestures ensue, and they do it all again tomorrow.

The first time she came across the term "expat" or "expatriate" was on tinder. The word was used as a descriptor in some Aussie's bio. It read "expat, show me around." At the time the word brought to mind other words and phrases such as "rich," "International" "well-traveled," maybe something politically science-related. Now that she was one, she realized the word expat was just code for "pretentious pedestrian."

With a clear head, she analyzed her text messages and assessed her options for the day. In any other country, you would spend the day riddled with regret or worry about missing work. Even genuinely tired or burned out. Chances were there wasn't much you could do on a sick day for fear of bumping into someone from work and getting fired.

2:30 PM: 20 more short concise repetitive texts, complemented by 10 missed calls. 

Classic.

From where she was standing there were really only two options.

First option: Go back to her apartment, complete a "Yoga with Adriene" video, clean, binge watch the last two seasons of Mad Men on Netflix, and sleep. 

Second: Respond to Eyed.

The logical thing to do was to go home and block this lunatic forever. The only thing stopping her is that it wouldn't change a thing. Establishing boundaries was one thing, keeping them from expanding was another challenge. The moment you're willing to negotiate a hard NO is the moment the number of things you think are wrong or feel is offensive shrinks. Soon, things you believed were wrong don't look so bad anymore. With that thought, Hannah agreed to a blind adventure.