DELERIUM

Friday

MIDNIGHT: Deja vu.

Quietly he gets up and whispers "I have to go."

Laying on his side staring, it was hard to tell how long his gaze had been on her.

"I'll take a shower and we can go,"

Hannah yawned, high and a little hangover. Half the struggle of being an expat is emotional survival. Coming to terms with the loneliness and being comfortable in it. So when he forced himself into her life she couldn't say no. Right now, however, his energy took the warmth right out of the room.

"You're going to stay here until it's over,"

standing above her now fully dressed he lingered a second longer and left. Too tired to react, Hannah once again shut her eyes and called it a day.

5:00 AM: There was an indescribable degree of happiness about waking up alone with no one beside you. Once again, a wave of self-awareness comes over her that made her want to throw up. There's no way she could miss another day of work.

Grabbing her phone, she texts Latifa, "I will be late"

Seconds later Latifia responds "It's Friday. Enjoy"

The fact that she responded off the clock was probably a bad sign but, Hannah had very little energy to care. More, importantly, she was sure Latifia would have even less energy to remember this exchange on Sunday.

With a new found optimism Hannah decided to call for breakfast and get updated on the news of the day.

6:00 AM: Hannah was once again back at square one. It was Friday which meant she was confined to this room until After-Noon and paralyzed until this evening.

What was going this weekend? The same as every other weekend.

There were a few options, all of which were more or less the same. Looking over the messages on the WhatsApp group chat Hannah suddenly remembered Lauren. In the collage of "Good Weekend" messages, there was one from Lauren which read "out and about this weekend, come join if you can"

Hannah signed, her innocence was endearing. Lauren is the freshman expat for this academic cycle. Hailing from Salt Lake City, Lauren has a master's in education, loves Marvel movies and cycling. She traveled here to gain work experience and life long memories. Lauren has been very vocal about exploring and establishing a "fun and productive" routine which, of course, makes her feel "safe."

All this to say, Lauren is single and ready to mingle.
Hannah was impressed that Lauren was lucky enough to start off in an advanced city. In

a way starting off in an advanced city for a complete foreigner is a disadvantage. In the end, theses expats end up recreating their lives back home but with a different wardrobe. Their ignorance could've been remedied if they were open to growth and change. But this was simply not the case for expats here. Determining sources of good fortune and bad luck take seconds, acknowledging these findings can take a lifetime. From what Hannah could discern, the ones who stay had an uncanny ability to deny their findings.