DELERIUM

Sunday Morning

7:00 AM: It was hard to believe work was once exciting.

"I am sorry we missed you this weekend," said Faan cryptically.

With Faan's help, Hannah let herself to her office to be refueled by coffee and sweets.

7:30 AM: "HAnahhhhhhh what's up. You should talk. How are you?" Ayah laughed. 

Jerked out of her own head Hannah wanted to respond, "I would if I knew what the hell

you were talking," but it was too early to start a fight.

"It was well rounded," Hannah said more cheerfully than she intended"How as your weekend?" she mimicked

"Oh you know..." Ayah teased "preparing for THIS weekend."

"Hot date," Hannah said emptily.

"You don't remember?" Ayah said startled

"No..." Hannah responded slightly annoyed

"Faan's brother's wedding" she exclaimed as if it were her getting married.

How could she forget? Hannah had spent a fortune on the dress she was going to wear.

"Poor girl" Faan began "No money, No husband, No home."

Faan and Ayah began laughing hysterically.

The comment cut her like a knife. Was desperation finally seeping through?

"I can't wait," Hannah said at a loss as to what else to say. Uncomfortably aware of how fast she could be uninvited it was time to leave.

How could she forget indeed? This was a huge event.

The goal this week: Buy as much good grace as possible. Besides you're only as

memorable as your first and last impressions. Knowing when to leave a room, Hannah showered Ayah and Faan with less than disingenuous compliments and slowly made her escape. 5 years ago, Ayah and Faan's comments would've had her planning her exit. Now she finds herself walking on eggshells and looking for ways to come crawling back. Sitting at her desk Hannah began to organize her time.

Damn.

Had she remembered the wedding she would've called in sick this week and come to work last week?

Missed opportunities. 

She wouldn't miss a beat this week. Rephrase: She couldn't afford to miss a beat this week.

Praying to land on fortune's good side she went to bed that night thanking God every day was a new day. A chance not to start fresh or anew, but an opportunity, to mimic the old and make sure everyday mirrors the last. Keeping everything exactly as it is by insuring everything stayed exactly as it was.