Better Than Milkshakes, Better Than Boys (girlxgirl)

[12]

"Talk."

I slide back in my seat guiltily, head bumping against the rough leather seat of my diner booth chair. I hate the way April is looking at me. She's looking at me with such disappointment, such irritation.

I've never seen her look at anyone like this, never mind her best friend.

The second the team was off the bus, April held me back and then dragged me over to a booth far away from everyone else, throwing me in the seat and sitting across from me, her face a stony mask that I could barely decipher until she started to talk. I'm terrified of what she wants me to say, what she wants me to admit. Her family are more devout than mine and Emma's combined, and whilst she doesn't believe as strongly as they do, she still goes to church, she still wears a cross around her neck.

As far as I'm aware, she wants me to admit I'm a dirty, dirty sinner so she can throw me into hell herself.

"What do you want me to say, April?" I sigh quietly, eyeing the rest of the soccer team as we sit around the diner in our friendship groups. "I think you already know what's going on."

Emma is looking glum as her friends Savannah and Marie glance over here every so often, Savannah's dark eyes narrowing into a glare every single time. I hope that from where she's sitting, this conversation looks like a scolding and not a girl trying to get her best friend to admit she likes girls so she can toss her to the devil like she throws her bottle to the sidelines after a drinks break.

Oh God, I'm about to become a discarded water bottle.

"I want you to tell me why you didn't think you could trust me with this?" April snaps back and my eyes shoot up almost as fast as my eyebrows do. "Why you couldn't trust me or Faye with this?"

I open and close my mouth like a fish out of water, my brows still residing somewhere in my hairline as I look at my best friend with obvious astonishment. This is not the direction I thought this conversation would go in. April looks at me with obvious hurt as she leans across the table to take my hands in her own, squeezing them gently before looking me in the eyes. "You know me and Faye knew, right? We're your best friends, we're not stupid. We've seen the way you look at girls at parties, we saw you looking at Keira when Faye was showing the new cheer outfits. You looked at her just like the boys did; it was quite funny."

I bite my lip anxiously as I spin the paper straw in my drink, April rambling on about everything I've done that has made her question me.

"Oh don't get me started on how you exploded on Emma today." April chuckles, pointing at me with a grin on her face. "That wasn't just defending a teammate, you didn't go off like that when she did the same thing to Freya last year. The way you laid into her so harshly we could hear it in the locker room was like you were defending yourself. That's when my suspicions were confirmed, well before I caught you eye fvcking Mackenzie. That was the icing on the gay cake."

"You're not disgusted with me?" I say in a small voice, fear spiking in my heart as I look at my best friend. Despite the fact my cheeks are flushed from my embarrassment of her telling me she caught me looking at Mackenzie, I'm still very much terrified I'm about to lose my best friend. Even though she hasn't outright said she isn't, I still need the validation. I search her face for any small, nondescript sign that shows me that she's hiding how not okay she is with this. "You don't hate me for liking girls?"

"God no!" April laughs, looking at me with a horrified expression when she realises I was being serious. "No, Alex, of course I don't hate you. You're my best friend and I'll love you until I die. I've seen you do things that have disgusted me, like really disgusted me. Like that time you ate mud in seventh grade, or the time..."