Loving Him Was Red

The moment I Knew

*Ok so some of you know about this alternate reality fic I've been working on, and if you don't I'll give you a quick explanation here. Basically this takes place in America and since I don't watch the show at all I don't know the lingo or slang the American version uses since the only reference I have is the game. But MC is dumped by an insecure Bobby and switches after Casa Amor throwing her off, but her ex comes back to save the day. *

Miri couldn't bear to look up at herself in the bathroom mirror. She knew she'd see nothing but pain and betrayal in her brown eyes. Eyes that just twenty minutes ago held warmth and blossoming love for an amber-eyed boy with hands like sin, and freckled golden brown skin. Her hands shook as she used a tissue to wipe the mascara stained tears that she knew covered her cheeks and took a deep agonizing breath. How had she gotten here? How had she allowed this to happen? Allowed him to take up so much of her so quickly?

She steadied herself, stood up straight, avoided her reflection on the fingerprint covered mirror and turned on her black satin wedges and marched out towards the outdoor kitchen. Her plan was to steal herself a bottle of pinot to guzzle alone in a corner. She was allowing herself one night to cry and that was all. If he could so easily walk away he deserved far less.

As she walked she wasn't surprised no one's eyes but HIS and probably Chelsea's followed her. Everyone was too busy being ecstatic that Noah and Hope we're going to reunite. She rolled her eyes and made sure her hips swayed a little harder than they normally would have. She wanted this to hurt him, she wanted him to feel his mistake with every breath he took, he deserved it after all. Gawd what was she saying? This wasn't like her, like not even a little bit. If she had learned anything from her time in the villa, it was that she was Miri the doormat. She'd been hearing it her entire life, but it never bothered her until her time isolated from the people who would go to war for her if she needed.

She made it to the bar and peeked behind it where Gary was making a martini for Lottie. She snatched the olive out of Gary's hand and popped it in her mouth while simultaneously grabbing the treasured pinot grigio, and a bottle opener and walking off to wallow in a beanbag alone in the dark. She didn't notice the way Gary frowned, she didn't realize how much he worried about her, or how he felt stuck between two people he cared about. She could see HIM sitting on a day bed with his head in his hands as the girl he'd chosen to replace her with, tried her hardest to get his attention to no avail. She smiled inwardly, reveling in the knowledge that he just might regret his decision.

She found the darkest, furthest corner on the lawn and drug a bean bag over to it, plopping her plump rump in it harshly and wasting no time in popping that cork and taking a deep swig of the same wine she and Chelsea usually shared. She sat and pondered her time in the villa, the memory of walking out onto the lawn on that first day and feeling a shiver of awareness travel down her spine, and her shock at seeing eyes so yellow they seemed to glow even in the sunlight. Miri clutched the bottle close to her chest and tried to stop the memories of giggles, boops and sweet kisses that made her toes curl. How had he given up on her like she was nothing more than a bad drug? Discarded her. Her treacherous mind took her back to the mean tweets challenge where someone had called him a player, and he had made an offhand joke about it, and Miri having full faith and trust in him laughed along with the joke. She hadn't noticed how Marisol had frowned in his direction.

There were red flags, of course, there were, but she'd chosen to ignore them because he was her light and laughter. More than once Lottie had eluded to him not being as trustworthy as he seemed. She even seen a flakey lover in her tea leaves, and Marisol had tried telling her not to put all her eggs in his basket. Hell, even the boys at Casa Amor had looked worried for her, but her deadliest fault was her blind optimism and neverending faith.

Her father Bear, a big burly tattoo artist with muscles bigger than her head and a beard that rivaled Santa Clause called her too sweet. He and her older brother's felt an overwhelming need to hover over her for that very reason, Jonah, her eldest brother said she was just a docile little lamb, and then pat her on the head like a child, and it had annoyed her even though he hadn't  meant to hurt her feelings. Now, as she sat alone while the boy she may have fallen in love with sat with someone else she wondered if they were right. She thought back to the sweet and romantic redhead Hannah who had left the island three days in and remembered the kinship they shared over their similar personalities and wished Hannah had been the one to stay and she had gone home in her place. But back then she was besotted with the funny boy with dreads the other girls seemed to look over.

She scrubbed her eyes while swinging the bottle, having no strength to care if her makeup would be smeared across her face. She no longer had anyone to impress, no one to try for. She thought back to two hours ago when she had been so giddy while getting ready in the dressing room, Chelsea on one side, priya on the next. She thought about the crimson silk dress she'd slipped on, imagining his fingers slipping it off if they had the chance to sneak off alone. There had been no doubt he would stick, she knew him. They had spoken for a few moments before she left and after they kissed he made her promise to not forget him, and she had sworn on her life. How had he not seen how crazy he made her? She would have followed him anywhere. They promised they would wait for one another, and they'd sealed their covenant with a kiss so full of emotion she had to will herself not to cry. It hadn't occurred to her that he could betray her.

She heard cautious footsteps and looked mesmerized into the half-empty bottle of wine as the liquid swished around against the glass and almost laughed but it ended in a sob. Instantly delicate but determined arms embraced her, and she didn't have to look to know it was Chelsea. The blonde ray of sunshine hadn't been with them long, but she quickly became Miris best friend in the villa, and she knew without a doubt, they would carry their friendship with them on the outside. 

"Babes, you should so not be drinking alone right now! You have me now!"

With that she takes the bottle from Miri and swigs from it too. Miri is relieved when her friend doesn't try to get her to talk, they just sit together which she could tell was a challenge for the bubbly interior designer but she appreciated the sentiment. When the bottle is finished she stands on shaky legs and hugs Chelsea goodnight and heads to remove her makeup and go to bed. She just wanted this night over.

When she reached the bedroom she realized there weren't enough beds for all the couples and single people, some people would have to sleep outside and she was NOT gonna be one of them. He broke HER heart, she sure as hell wasn't giving up the bed she slept in since she arrived at the villa. He could sleep outside with her and they could keep one another warm for all she cared.

As she laid alone while the others entered the room and the bustling of islanders chatted and prepared for bed, her mind took her back to another time, another place. An industrial decorated studio apartment in New York City, the sounds of the city that never sleeps rocked her to sleep with the help of scarred arms camouflaged with permanent ink. His chest rose and fell softly against her back, his warm breath tickling her neck, she was shrouded in contentment and a love deeper than she thought was possible.

Her chest squeezed painfully remembering the look of panic in a pair of emerald eyes as the man they belonged to begged for her to understand. A lone tear tricked down her cheek and a stab of regret brought her back to the present. Bobby stood in the middle of the room looking lost, he looked longingly at Miri before Emily tugged on his arm and drug him out of the bedroom and presumably out to the day beds. She shut her eyes closed right and prayed for oblivion, and eventually with the help of the wine she began to slowly drift to sleep, her future in the villa uncertain and her heart in tatters.

* one day earlier*

Bobby clenched his fists and swallowed hard against the bile threatening to escape his throat as the image of Miri Kissing a tall redhead lad with a crab tattoo played over and over in front of his closed eyes. Bloody hell what was he supposed to do now?