I am venting because I want to, and I dont want to keep it any longer. I hurt and hid behind a mask every day. No one noticed that I smile every day just to make others happy. Because One day we all die and there no going back. What is death?
Is it freedom? Is it heaven? Is it hell? Is it just black void that you can't from?! What is death?
Death ends your life and people think that they will rebirth into something new, or go to heaven and be with God, but I just think its none of that. Death is going to black and nothing there to save you.
You are left alone with no one to yell or talk to because you are gone and society wouldn't notice. You're just another people who won't have a chance at life.
There are things that I, a terrible person who hides under a mask so see to another day because of life she has been given to live that won't live forever, have. I hate being bullied to say 'OH HERE ANOTHER DAY OF BULLIES!' Because I tried hiding from the truth.
Is okay to say I want to see death but won't because of i scared of what I will see. I am scared of Death and what will happen. I am scared to hurt myself. I AM SCARED OF THE PEOPLE I LOVE... life isn't happy and I always want to see happy stuff but I can't. My mind will tell me that life has something just wait.
I have made imaginary friends help me feel better when I have no one to go to. And you what? People hate that i still have them. They hate how I talk to them. They hate me. I can't go back. I get bullied and say nothing. I go home and read or play games to take my mind off of anything.
I am in band and choir to make me smile but it doesn't. I want to start over, but they're a part of me that says 'Life will give you good, I promise'.
I want to see what I do and how I can help. I am not a person to say are you okay because I lie a lot... I don't want to but I do because I dont want people to think. Oh, she a loser. She has nothing to go for. Why are still alive freak? I feel sad and alone, but there are things that make me happy like music or reading.
I don't usually tell someone that I am not okay. I want to hurt myself but I can't. I am afraid and scared of what they will think. I wear a mask to survive my life. People can question me and get nothing out of me because I dont talk. I am scared to do stuff before I see the truth. And I am scared of what they will think.
I am sorry if this is terrible I just wanted to say something, and I am sorry if you hate me. I am weird and I dont want help. What will it do? Nothing... Life isnt fun but I wanted to say something. I am sorry for wasting your time.
