Taming Of The Bitch

Chapter 4 | Losing My Sanity Slowly

Sometimes life doesn't stop for you.

It keeps going on and on and on. No matter how much you want it to pause and let you cry for about 129467045 seconds.

More assignments are due, your ex is already done with his rebound, and you haven't even thought of getting a rebound.

Because sometimes it's not like the love stories where you both miss each other and love each other and get back together.

Maybe you do love each other, but you both know if you get back together, your relationship will be more toxic than before, and shit will just be a lot more fucking hard the next breakup.

Different people help you develop different feelings.

Sometimes you love them so much it hurts. And other times the even thought of them makes you want to cry, because of how much they hurt you.

Love is a tricky lady, and I think we might never be able to figure her out, but you can never change her.

Because if you had the chance to change her, everything would be different. And to have that control over our lives, would be the worst idea on the planet.

Because you have the chance to decide who to hurt, and who hurts you.

Sometimes, we just have to continue life and find a way to handle it.

I'll cry for thirty five minutes, then do my homework for twenty five.

I'll go to school, and every afternoon, I'll get smashed and leave shit voicemails on his phone.

I'll pretend like I'm happy, because my graduation is next week, but I know the moment I've finished saying my speech, I'll hide in the toilets, and cry until I vomit.

And it'll fucking suck, but eventually we will learn how to manage it better, without even getting a rebound.

And every breath you take won't feel like there's stones lodged in your throat, and your mind will be more focused on the equation then the breakup, and when you laugh your chest won't contract.

● ● ●

September
Tuesday 24th
10:42 pm

"You are just so irresponsible! And I know one of you allowed her to do this!" My fuming grandma glares holes through each of my siblings heads, and they all just glare at me for keeping them up this late on a school/uni/work night.

Yes it's Tuesday.

The incident happened on Sunday.

We still haven't got the car back, but the police are looking for it. We had to lie to them and say it was Veronica's fault because I'm underage and will probably be sent to court for driving at the age of fifteen.

Grandma got back from her holiday yesterday, so this is the second of three days I will be getting a lecture from hell, and I have to do all of my siblings chores for two months.

All. Of. The. Chores.

And I have to go to bingo on Sundays with grandma now.

If we really had to give her an answer, Vincent allowed me to drive the car. Well, not necessarily, but he did know I was using the car for about two months now.

But he said if I snitched on him I would have to look after all the pets (six birds, two guinea pigs, one cat and the record player, we consider it as a pet because we use it often and it takes expertise and a lot of time to clean).