Taming Of The Bitch

Chapter 3 | Hate Is A Strong Word

i love you.

The power of three words is so excessive.

Sometimes, they're the most painful words you'll ever hear.

And other times, they're the only thing that makes you smile.

Or maybe, they can change your life forever.

Neither of the three words can go without each other, because knowing that there's one other person on this planet that loves you as you and no one else.

The real. Raw. You.

Is the most incredible, euphoric, out of this world feeling.

And I pity those who've never felt those three words like I have.

Because those three words.

Make hearts skip beats.

Make cries turn to smiles.

And sometimes make hate turn to love.

Although I love you is sometimes mistaken.

Because for someone to say I love you, places a heavy weight on you, because that person's undying devotion to you is placed on your shoulders.

And you have to decide to be honest and break a heart.

Lie and say a meaningless I love you too because you care too much about that person to break there heart.

Be honest and express your feelings by saying I love you too, even though there's still a chance you'll get your heart broken.

Or lie and don't say it, because you know you wouldn't be able to handle the inevitable possibility of your love being misplaced.

Love is a hateful word.

Because there's always a different way to interpret it's value.

And it's purpose is different to every individual.

So don't tell me you love me unless you do. Simple. Because if you say you love me, I expect your whole hearted honesty, loyalty and respect. I don't care if we fight, I just want your love to be bigger than anything else we face. And if you no longer love me, fucking tell me, because I don't need to be lead on and believe our love still exists, just because your too scared to hurt me. Because honestly, leading me on will be worse. It'll hurt, it'll break me I might not be able to bear it, but please, my tears are worth less than your honesty. It may be confusing and painful for me, but it's better than being lead on. I just want to trust you enough to hold on to me and be my love. Because I love you. You may not love me after a while, but I know that I'll always love you, even the parts of you that broke my heart.

~ i love you

● ● ●

September
Sunday 21st
3:01pm

After Friday when I realised that my wellbeing means nothing to my friends, who only care about our image and our fake happiness, when we clearly think spiteful things about each other, it's a miserable day yet the sun shines.

The sun shined the day my mum died.

It was beaming, a perfect twenty one degrees.

The other day, I was surprised to note that my counsellor actually understood something for once.

She honestly suprised me, since I almost thought she was completely brainless.