The Vaginal Tales

All I See Is 'RED'

I dedicate this part to my awesome blossom friend pinkstar2013.
She has been literally there throughout.
Even when they're only three parts.
She gave me this idea. She's amazing like that. And check out her story " Stolen Heart <3 ". I tell you I want to go to Paris now.
Thank you mon cher.

Picture this.

You wake up and stretch your muscles,  yawning in the process.

You don't want to get up but you you don't want to have a WWE with your mother as well. In the morning.

You remove your blankets and start to walk towards the Holy Ground.
The Washroom.

You pull down your Pajama Bottoms and sit on the toilet seat.

And then all you see is RED.

Your favorite underwear, Yes the cute one with Polka dots, the one you just bought has blood stains all over it.

And all you can think then is 'There goes my Underwear."

Second thoughts are " That's why I got so emotional when I couldn't finish my homework which was due after two weeks."

Yes ladies blame it on the Periods.

Mother nature has a funny way of showing us love.

She actually punishes us for not getting Pregnant.

Like hellooooo..

Excuse me Women. You should be glad. As of the population isn't enough.

Your third thoughts are " Why couldn't I wear my Pads at night?"

Because you're too lazy. I mean once you hit the bed you just can't get up to put Sanitary Pads.

Period.

Hahahahaha get it?

Nevermind.

Yup where was I??

Oh yes Menstrual cycle. It is time of of the month when everything inside is you messed up. Literally.  You can't walk a few steps without bending in pain and groaning.

Its worse when you have school and exams are on. The stress piles up and the pain of the craps become all the more excruciating.  You really want to concentrate on your syllabus and all but no. You feel nauseous all the time and eat like a pig. WTF.

You can't wear light coloured bottom half scared it might stain your bottoms and half scared someone might see it especially a guy.

Funny really. You are too carry extra pair of sanitary pads or tampons. Its highly amusing when you carry one and your flow is just okay but when you don't you put Niagara Falls to shame.

And on top of that you have to take meds  keep the pain under control. You are considered lucky if the pain is just in your stomach and not in your back and your feet and your head. See what I'm talking about?

I have not even come to best portion.

The MOOD SWINGS.

They are downright scary especially when your friends get  it.

I mean the calmest one is the one who turns out to be the godzilla of the bunch. During moodswings either you are angry or overly emotional for god knows what reason or you are terribly horny. Or well amazingly crazy. ( No amazing.)

If your friend is angry just stay away from her. I repeat stay away. No point going 5ftm within the range because you are dead.

If your friend is emotional just be prepared to hear all the nonsensical issues disregarding her life. She is bundle of waterworks I mean joy.

And if your friend is  horny, please she shouldn't be even be near a dog.  Wonder what she will do. ( Gross).

But if she is crazy then bad luck man. My sympathies. She will do all the things she shouldn't be and talk like a brat. She will be a handful.

And some ,my friends , don't have mood swings.  Its soo abnormal. Like what?

Have you seen the tampon ads especially.  Oh My Freaking Lord. At first I thought they were something you wore on your feet. ( In my defense I was just 10 and the girls shown in the video were and are still running like everything is normal. And also that the shape of a pad kinda resembles a feet of a human.)

In the advertisements.

1)Girls like to dance twirl and shit.

2) Pet their dogs and cats and cuddle with their boyfriend.

3) Wear white skinny jeans and go  clubs and crowd surf.
In reality

1) Girls sit in one fuc#$@g place in fear of leakage.

2) Anything with a face pisses you the f#$ k off.

3) No bitch wears white on her period. Bitches wear sweats.

4) No bitch wants to go clubbing and indulge in water sport activities when a waterworks are errupting inside of her. ( Of Blood.)

And you crave ice cream or chocolate like crazy.  Atleast I do. Its like a ray of sunshind in your dark bloody world. PUN INTENDED.

You know what's the one thing girls desperately wish during their periods? NO LEAKAGE..(Heaven).

Its absoulutely traumatising to wash your favorite pair of underwear. And it turns such a horrible shade of greenish red after washing it is enough to put a girl in depression that day. I mean what if it is your lucky underwear. Now don't you deny not having one. I mean everyone has it. Right?

I am not insane.

During periods what really one wants are pads. OBVIOUSLY.

If you wear pads you need the ones with the wings.  Wings are awesome. Ha!

And after that you need a night pack for night. DUH.. Because if you don't have night packs then you need to put two normal pads at night because you just never know. It feels like you are wearing Many Poko Pants. ( Diapers)

It sucks.

You know don't mess with a girl PMSing. Like just don't.  You are not going to win. Even if you do, then she will scar your face literally. You are not to win.  If you really love your life. Just admit defeat. Simple. Its written in the stars.

With that the the chapter comes to an end... Well not all areas of periods are covered.. But oh well. That's for the next chapters..

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Love you all..
XOXO