Against The Current

Chapter 22

Killian had felt uncomfortable the entire car ride to the benefit. Miranda had been chatting incessantly, her fingers roaming and groping. He'd pushed her hands away more than once, not missing the way her eyes narrowed.

Killian did feel guilty for using Miranda for his own purposes but she was also using him. There was a lot of benefit to being associated with someone of his status and she had reaped them. In the past his current woman would be invited to this benefit as it gained the most publicity. He had made a promise to Miranda and he would stick by it.

Miranda was one woman in a string of many that he used for sexual gratification and to keep his playboy status intact. In the past he easily explained away his indulgent lifestyle by playing up the single, rich, carefree persona...telling himself that it kept Gold away.

It was a half truth.

Since meeting Emma Swan he had stopped several times to question his motives.

Was he being fair?

The answer was a resounding...No.

Killian kept pushing his attraction on to Emma but he needed to look at it from her perspective. He was saying one thing but doing another. He kept saying that everything was for show with Miranda but it wasn't entirely true. Maybe he needed to start acting like the man he wanted to be and not this fictitious bigger than life persona he'd gotten stuck being.

He had promised Emma that he would fight the attraction between them...bury it...but could he do it? Could he ignore the sizzling chemistry between them? Or his need to learn every little detail he could uncover...no matter how hard she tried to conceal them? Could he ignore the way his fingers itched to touch her skin, her hair?

God.

Killian ran a hand through his hair as the bright lights of the city blurred past. He needed to get his head together and get through tonight. This charity was important to Liam, one of the few things Killian had learnt about his brother. Liam had talked passionately about veterans and had given his complete support and so Killian had continued on in his brother's name.

"How long Locksley?" Killian questioned Robin. He wanted nothing more than to have this night over and done with. If it had been any other event...

"We're in the line-up now." Robin told him, eyes never shifting from the road. Miranda had been steadily devouring the cold champagne on offer and Killian hoped she wouldn't appear too tipsy on the red carpet.

The line-up of arriving guests progressed quickly and it wasn't long until Robin was pulling the car up. Killian's door was opened and he quickly slid out, offering a gracious hand to Miranda.

The flashing bulbs of the paparazzi were blinding as security led Killian and Miranda up the red carpet. He plastered on his charming playboy smirk and tried to dazzle the spectators and the cameras. There were the obligatory interviews with the press but he knew how to charm the presenters and Miranda was happy to show off her dress and hang off his arm. The questions were quite tame and Killian was relieved that none seemed to be aware of the turmoil happening in both his professional and private lives. Killian was eager to push the charity so kept the topics centered on his passion for such a noble cause.

Walking the red carpet had never felt so unsatisfying and he wondered if the blonde sitting in his apartment was the reason. Would he feel differently if she were the one accompanying him?

Killian felt his eyes soften and mouth quirk as he pictured the fight Emma would put up if he tried to get her to play a submissive role at these events. She was a headstrong woman and would be herself, others be damned!