Finding Montana

The Flight

I've always believed that there is that one person who compliments you in every way possible. That once you find that one person you need to do everything in your power to try and make them happy. You're to dedicate yourself to that relationship, and that you're in it for the long run. Cheating and shopping around for other possible companions should never be an option. However, not all people have that same mentality as me and they seem to only want observe their own selfish desires. Maybe it's apart of my super conservative upbringing that I never let go of? Something that was so deeply ingrained in my soul that even after my family disowned me for following my passions never truly left my morals compass.

The other thing I strongly believe in, is my gut feeling. When something doesn't feel right, then something usually isn't right. And in this current moment, standing in the middle of JFK International Airport talking to my boyfriend of three years, my gut feeling is telling me that something is incredibly wrong.

I thought I was one of the lucky ones that was able to find my one early in life. Everything about Damien drove me to him. His charisma, his charming looks, his apathetic ways, but most of all I was drawn to his way with words. He knew how to hush a bustling room with the calming tones of his voice. And when we got together it's as if the world finally started to make sense. After being alone for so long, there was finally someone who cared about me. Staring at him now, with the flight attendant shouting my name over the intercom, I can't help but feel love for Damien. Unconditional, terrifying love for a man that my gut feeling is telling me will hurt me in the most brutal way possible.

"They're calling us to the gate." I say over the blaring voice on the speaker above. I nervously look between Damien and the flight attendant staring us down. Damien's demeanor shows no sign of stress and I feel myself clinging to his calmness.

"I'll be two minutes." He whispers in my ear, sending waves of tension and excitement through me. You'd think after three years of dating he wouldn't have this affect on me anymore. "I just want to grab a few snacks from the shop right there," He points to the Airport Quickie. Literally the worst name they could have picked. "Then, we'll fly to Montana together."

I take a deep breath as I nod. I've been with Damien for so long that I've grown a bit co-dependent on him when there's a stressful situation. His tall frame, black slicked-back hair, and dark, mysterious eyes have always put me at ease, even in our toughest times. But for some reason all these features that I've always adored are making that much more anxious. It might be the fact that by board the flight behind me, we're both leaving our home for over ten years, New York City. All of our firsts where here, my publishing company is here, and almost all of Damien's family lives just thirty minutes from our apartment in The City. He's been excited, if not giddy to move into this new phase in our lives in Northern Montana. I purchased a nice large home out there for the two of us to live comfortably until the day we decide to start a family.

All these things are running through my mind as I blankly stare at Damien. My nerves having taken control of my body and I can feel my hands start to shake. "I'll be right back." He waves good-bye and heads towards the illuminated store.

"Ms. Tulip to Gate 14." I hear my name called over the intercom and I grab my purse and carry-on bag and race towards the Gate. The flight attendant that had been glaring at me while I talked with Damien, curtly takes me boarding ticket before letting my through the corridor to the plane's entrance. The corridor is filled with an ungodly heat from the outside world and I'm practically suffocated by the sweltering air as I rush down the carpeted tube to the plane's open door.

I trip over the lip leading into the plane, catching myself before I crash into the flight attendant making her way back towards the Captain's Cabin. She gives me a curious look as to as if I'm okay, but proceeds with her errand at hand without a word. I turn to face the rest of the plane and I'm met with expecting and slightly annoyed faces of the other passengers. My face reddening as I slide my way through the narrow aisle until I get to the row with my seat. I double check that I have the correct row before making eye contact with an older lady seated in the aisle seat, in front of me. She stares curiously up at me, waiting for my next move.