The Trial

Chapter 10 - Edited

There's been no need to watch over state clerk forty-two during the night, since arrests are always made in public. Her life won't be threatened until it happens, which means I slept better last night than I have in a long time. I hide my smile even in my waking moments, since I don't want it to be seen for what it really is.

For once, I don't want the mist to bring everything to a stop, even though it's a sign of forward movement through my life, which is the hope I rest my sanity upon. There's an arrest to witness, and hope my captors give me some control. The life of my younger self's in jeopardy and surely my guards will let me alter this event.

I do enjoy my morning routine of pleasant cleanliness, but can't do anything about the assault on my nostrils due to state clerk fourteen's wretched state. The temptation to damage my sense of smell is great, but I wouldn't want to deprive myself of the more pleasant scents of the world. It's nothing more than a memory of what was that lingers and nothing more.

I'm heading down the halls of black and white a little earlier than I normally would, since I need to find state clerk forty-two before they come to take the weasel away. I have to put myself between them as a precaution of state clerk seventeen's unknown actions. There've been very few official arrests among the state clerks and all have turned violent as they strike out at everyone around them in the hopes of dying before the torture begins.

A simple disappearance is so much cleaner, but the state wants to have their show and nothing can alter what's been set. There's no subtly about their arrival and a few moments of panic always precedes securing their target. Once they're taken, they no longer have a position and a number, which means everything is stripped from them; for this they're willing to fight to the death to prevent their capture. The fight's always short-lived, but they leave a trail of injuries and blood behind them every time.

You're a fool for not seeing what's about to happen. Release my voice. Just for this moment, give me some control beyond these thoughts. If I have my own thoughts, then I must have my own mind and some degree of control. Give me something, anything beyond my thoughts and let me do what must be done.

I press past robes of gray and black as I see her in the distance and every step's controlled. There can be no sense of urgency and no one can suspect anything. My eyes catch a glimpse of state clerk seventeen and give a slight nod without revealing anything to him, but he's too close to her, and I've no idea how much time I have. It's going to happen sometime today, since they'd never wait for an arrest.

What will it take for me to have control? Why am I trapped in my past if I can't change anything? Let me release a whisper if nothing else.

His knife's within reach and my younger self doesn't see it. None of them do. My captors remain hidden from me and this prison's without flaw. There's nothing I can do but wait out the inevitable.