Help Her (Jeon Jungkook FF)

I Am Not Nothing

The song that Caroline is singing is "I Am Not Nothing" By Beth Crowley.

The car I was in went past the gates that led to the back of the building. I watched my fans waving at me and being respectful. I smiled and rolled down my window enough to poke my hand out to wave at them. We exited the car, sighed some papers, and headed inside the building.
"Why did you stop?" Namjoon asked me once my feet hit the inside of the building, 
"What if they don't like my new song?" I asked Namjoon as I turned my head towards him.
I felt nervous and sick to my stomach. Yes, I sang in front of thousands of people, but my songwriter wrote all those songs, not me.
Namjoon smiled while shaking his head, placing his right hand on my shoulder. "They are going to love the song, Caroline. Don't you worry, your pretty little mind," Namjoon ruffled my hair before going around me and into the building.
I sighed while grabbing my hair slightly. "Namjoon is right, everything will be okay." I jumped at the voice that spoke behind me.
I turned around to see Jungkook with a smile. I couldn't help but give an awkward smile.
I haven't seen him since he helped me in the alleyway. What is he doing here in the first place? Does he need to be here?
"You're going to be fine, Caroline," Jungkook smiled brightly.
"Thanks, Jungkook," I said, nodded, and turned around. 

I got to the changing room and opened the door to see Sariah.
"This is what you're wearing tonight!" Sariah said, walking up to me with a cute outfit in hand. "Ha, thanks, Sariah." I grabbed the outfit from her hands.
I began to take off my clothes slowly.
"I have questions," I said to Sariah.
"Yeah?" She looked up from her list and smiled.
"Why is Jungkook here?" I asked, trying not to sound upset.
"Didn't you hear? Your manager asked him to fill in for Abraham. He's out sick today,"
"Oh, okay," I whispered, putting my shirt on.
I guess that's okay. He's only filling in.
"Not too bad!" I smiled at my reflection.
"We need to get your makeup on!" Sariah said, grabbing my hand and leading me to the chair. I sat down and a nice lady came and did my makeup.

-

[After makeup]

-

"Beautiful!" Sariah clapped her hands and smiled.
"Ten minutes till!" One of the staff said, poking his head in between the door.
I sat up and walked to get my shoes on.
"Good luck, Caroline!" Sariah said with a big smile.
"You got this bud!" Namjoon said, wrapping his arm around Sariah's waist.
"Thank you, guys!" I hugged both of them at the same time.
I walked out the door and headed to the backstage area. "Are you ready?" Jungkook asked as he walked right by my side.
I gazed upward, meeting his smiling eyes as he looked down at me. His warm expression drew me in, making my stomach flutter, and my palms grow damp. Frustration bubbled within me despite my enchantment at the thought that he remained oblivious to my identity. It almost seemed he was purposefully toying with my emotions, and I found it unsettling.
Jungkook raised his eyebrow, looking ahead to ensure he didn't bump into anyone. 
"Caroline, are you listening to me?" Jungkook mumbled as he tilted his head to the side.
"Huh? Yeah,"
"What did I say then?" Jungkook asked while stopping, his body facing me. He seemed annoyed. That pissed me off slightly. I scoffed while crossing my arms. "Uh, well... you said—" I tried to say something, but I didn't know what he had said.
"Get ready, Caroline!" I looked over at the staff member and nodded.
"See you later," I mumbled bitterly.
 I walked away from Jungkook. Gosh, he is getting on my nerves.

"Here is your earpiece. I beg of you, please do not to lose it!" The girl said as she placed it in my ear
"Don't worry, I won't." I giggled.
 "That's what they all say." She grumbled under her breath, making me give her a glare.
"Why is everyone testing me today?" I grumbled.
 She walked away, and another staff member came up to me.
"I'm going to need you to stand right here." He said, pulling me roughly to where I was supposed to stand.
I bit my tongue and took a sharp breath in. I was seriously about to tell this guy off for roughly handling me.
"When Eunjoon calls you out, you will walk out here. Got it!" He said, giving me a thumbs up.
I plastered a fake smile across my face and gave him a thumbs-up as he walked away. It's frustrating when they behave like this. They seem to believe that I'm inexperienced in dealing with such situations, but the truth is, I've handled this countless times before. I'm not permitted to respond in any way. It's their preferred approach, and I'm obligated to comply. It's a situation I've become all too familiar with.
" Okay, you are good to go!" The guy walked away, and the show started.
My nerves spiked through the roof when they started the show.
I wrote this song when I was 17, but no one has heard it besides Jungkook. It was also the night he got hurt. That was the last night I saw him for a while.

"Hello everyone! Thank you all for coming out to watch the show tonight! We have a very special guest. Can you guess who it is?" The fans started screaming my name.
 I smiled while looking down.
"That is right! Please welcome Caroline, the famous K-pop/American-pop artist!" The lady stood up, and I walked out while waving to the fans.
I went to a red single chair next to Eunjoon. I blew a few kisses out to them; the screaming got louder and my heart filled with joy. I laughed as I sat down.
"Welcome, welcome! Thank you for coming out tonight! How are you doing?" Eunjoon asked as she crossed her leg over the other.
"I'm doing great. I'm very excited to be here tonight! Thank you for inviting me to come to your show!"
 "It's my pleasure! So, let's get started, shall we?" I smiled and nodded.
 "How is your album coming along? This is the first big album with over five songs. Am I correct?" "Yes, you are right! The album is coming along very well! I think you guys are going to love it as much as I do," I answered her question.
"Now, when is the album coming out?" Eunjoon asked.
"You have not released a date yet. Can you tell us now?" I giggled,
"I am proud to announce that It is coming out on November 12th!" The fans sat up, screaming their heads off over the coming album.
"You hear that? It is coming out on November 12th! Get your wallets ready! Write it down on your calendars!" She clapped with everyone else.
 I laughed. "Now, you have a brand new song you'll sing for us tonight, and it's also featured in your new album," she said, smiling.
I felt my body overcome with nervousness. I let out a nervous giggle. "Yes, I am! I'm so nervous to sing this long."
"No need to be nervous with us." Eunjoon laughed while sitting up and ushering me over to the mic. 
"This song is about my personal life. I only gave a brief background about myself when I first started my singing career. I am very nervous to share this since it's about my horrible past. A little about my past." I paused, looking at everyone.
"At the age of 5, my mother ended her life," Some gasped, filling the room, and tears burned in my eyes.
"From then on, I was abused by my stepfather, whose name I will not give out at this time. He is a very bad man who is locked up to this day," I wiped my tears away as they slid down my cheek. "He would always tell me that I was nothing. I will never be anything in this world. No one would truly care about me. Well, I'm proud to say that he was damn wrong," I said with a victory smile as the crowd cheered for me. 
"This song is called, I Am Not Nothing."

The piano started playing, and I got ready.
"No one ever made me feel as small as you did.
No one made me feel as cursed.
 I'd lie awake in bed just staring at the ceiling.
Wondering if things would get worse.
I was trapped under your thump.
Believing when you called it love.
But I will forgive myself and start to let it go.
Accept that who you chose to be was out of my control.
And though it might be hard to begin again.
I'll write myself a brand new story with a happy ending.
 I survived, so tonight, I'm taking back my life.
And I'll show you that I'm Not Nothing.
 I kept my head above the water 'til the moment.
When all the elements are aligned.
And I could fly away to heal my broken spirit.
And leave my demons far behind.
You always said that I was weak, but the bravest thing I did was leave.
 So, I will forgive myself and start to let it go.
 Accept that who you chose to be was out of my control.
And though it might be hard to begin again.
I write myself a brand new story with a happy end.
 I survived, so tonight, I am taking back my life,
 And I'll show you that I'm Not Nothing.
 Looking up at the sky, I think I see the start of a sunrise...
And I will forgive myself and start to let it go.
Accept that who I chose to be was out of my control.
And though it might be hard to begin again.
I'll write myself a brand new story with a happy end.
I survived, so tonight, I am taking back my life.
And I'll show you that I'm not nothing, I'll show you that I'm not nothing..."

-

Edited 07/24/2024