ADAM:
Look at this crib
In all of its glorious antiquary
Every curve and surface speaks to me
Saying pamper and spoil me
Sand me and oil me
Come on
I know to the untrained eye it's boring
But nothing's a chore when you're restoring
Apart from frustration, pain, and financial drain
It's fun!Folks say "Adam
Why do you polish your crib when you don't have a kid?
And even if you did have a kid,
This crib is too precious for placing a baby inside it
So it simply exists to remind you
Your sense of perfection is just a reflection that you are not mentally prepared to make room for a kid
Adam, why don't you live?
Adam, just make a start"
Are you willing to take the next step?
Ready, set-
Ready, set-BARBARA:
Look at these jugs!
Amazingly glazed and terracotta-ery
I took some clay and made you pottery
The world will never wreck you
I'll protect you in a mother's embraceFolks say, "Barbara
Why can't you see that ceramics is simply a manifestation of motherly panic
By making a baby that's breakable
Aren't you creating a way of translating the terror of making maternal mistakes into clay
Hiding away so you don't have to face being a bad mom
Barbara
That's what you've done, Barbara
Just make a start"
Are you willing to take the next step?
Ready, set-BOTH:
Here we stand
At the end of a 10-year plan
A house
A yard
A minivan
A baby should be next
Together let's leap off the cliff
Fall forever, then smash to bits
Trapped in a terrifying viper pit
Of diapers and regret
Are we willing to take the next step?ADAM:
Ready, set-BARBARA:
Ready, set-ADAM:
Not yetBARBARA:
Not yetADAM:
Why rush?BARBARA:
Why rush?BOTH:
Soon enough, our hopes and our dreams will be crushedBARBARA:
But not yet!ADAM:
But not yet!BARBARA:
Not nowADAM:
Not nowOoohh?
No!
See?
We can't start a family in a house with creaky floorboardsBARBARA:
You are absolutely right
Let's add it to the list
With the cracks in the plasterADAM:
The wi-fi should be fasterBARBARA:
This sofa needs a castorADAM:
The bathroom's a disaster!BARBARA:
What about global poverty?ADAM:
What about world peace?BARBARA:
Then there's the whole darn economyADAM:
The whole Middle EastBARBARA:
We should learn MandarinADAM:
Yeah!
Or Spanish at least.BOTH]:
No habla español
Dos cervezas por favorAnd that's all we got
And that's not a lot
Do we want a bilingual household or not?So let's go slow
No breaking a sweat
What's the point of having children
If we're drowning in debt?BARBARA:
Now we're totallyADAM:
CompletelyBARBARA:
Maybe eighty percentADAM:
I'd say seventy-eightBOTH (BEETLEJUICE):
Ready to take
The next step (Yeah! Yeah! Yeah Yeah!)
The next step (Zooby dooby dooby, dooby dop and bow!)
The next step (Zweeby, beeby, boo-bah-bah-dee!)
The next step
Ready, set let's-BEETLEJUICE:
See I wasn't kidding
It's a show about death!
YOU ARE READING
❁ beetlejuice | lyrics book
Random♫ Beetlejuice, Bettlejuice, be a doll and spare the lecture ♫ Lyrics to the songs from Beetlejuice the musical! ♫ I thought I knew, but I was wrong! 'Cause life is short, but death is super long ♫