In His Eyes

Wait

Scott:

Mitch decided to go back to school last week. It's been going okay  I suppose, no one has given him a hard time recently and he's started wearing brown contact lenses. He looks ordinary. I hate ordinary.

There was an incident with my mom and a police man so she seems to be out of the picture now which means I'm home alone every day for a long time. She got drunk again and assaulted a police officer making her end up in the slammer. I prefer being alone than having her in the house anyway to be honest. It's a nice relief to not be yelled at and assaulted by your own mother everyday I suppose. Mitch's mom has basically adopted me at this point anyway, she's so sweet and caring. Good old Ms Grassi.

What else has happened? Mitch and I are still just friends. But it's kind of complicated because... well... I think I might be falling in love with the boy. Matt would kill me if he found out. Speaking of gay, Mr Salone is gone. No one knows what happened to him but we came in to school yesterday and his desk was empty and a substitute was in his place. Maybe someone found out what what he does and fired him. Or maybe he just quit. Who knows, I'm just glad he isn't around anymore.

"Scott for fuck sake!" Holy shit what the fuck? I look up and see Mitch glaring at me. Oh yeah I forgot I was at his house. "I've been calling you for five minuets. What's going on in that head?" He stares at me clearly annoyed.

"Sorry Mitchums, I was daydreaming again," I tell him, looking into his brown eyes. "I wish you'd take those out Mitch, you don't look like you."

He swallows and looks away, "they make me feel normal. At least I don't get stared at when I walk down the street," he says as he sits on the floor in front of me, his fringe falling down inform of his eye.

"People stare because you're gorgeous and unique," I tell him with a soft smile. "People just don't appreciate how special you are."

"I don't want to be special." I could tell that that was the end of our conversation so I looked away and picked my pen back up to continue the revision I was doing before i drifted off. Math. My favourite.

About an hour passes of awkward silence, the only sound I the room is pages being flipped and the steady the scraping of Mitch's almost dried out fountain pen. I want to say something and break the silence but, there's nothing to say.

I hate arguing with him, I feel terrible about it all the time and I feel like a horrible person. Maybe I am a horrible person. I wouldn't be surprised.

Suddenly Mitch jumps up from his seat on the carpeted floor and tells me that he's "going to the toilet" and leaves the room. I'm left alone in his bedroom. All of Mitch belongings surround me. Slowly I slip off his bed and walk over to his drawers, opening the top one to find it full of cologne and deodorant. I take my time smelling each and every one of them, absorbing his delicious sent. My favourite is a bottle that's almost empty, the cap is a gorgeous diamond shape that magnetises to the bottle. The bottle is shaped like a gorgeous crystal with varying shades of blue coming up from the bottom in an ombré pattern. When I sprayed it on my wrist the sent of musk and slight sweet smell of flowers filled my nose. The aroma of Mitch Grassi. I could bathe in it for eternity.

I close the drawer gently and move down to the next, it's full of beanies and hoodies and comfy clothing, I full out a light grey sweatshirt and hold it in my hands, running my eyes over the fabric and sighing. Realising that I'm groping his sweatshirt in a way no man should I fold it neatly and thrust it back in the drawer.

There's one drawer left now. I may as well open it. So I do. The drawer slides of wheels with a gentle tug and makes a very satisfying noise. As my eyes peer into the drawer I'm greeted with Mitch's wide range of underwear. I know I shouldn't but I can't help out reach in and touch. I feel so close to him as my fingertips caress the fabrics of his underwear. They're mostly black boxer briefs but my eye catches something red in the back right corner. Lace. I bite my lip and slowly pull the lace out the drawer. I'm face to face with red laced panties that are so small I can't believe they fit him. I bite my lip harder and take in a short, quick breath. People in pornos like to smell the underwear. I wonder when Mitch last wore them. Should I smell them?

No Scott that's creepy. You shouldn't be looking at them anyway.

But what if they smell of him.

Put them back Scott.

The argument in my head goes on and on but I can't move. I just stare at lingerie in my hands, without telling them to my hands move the lace closer to my face and I take a long inhale through my nose. That's it. That's Mitch. I want to hold them forever. I feel like I'm holding a part of him. I feel...

At peace.

Footsteps. Shit! I quickly thrust the panties back into the drawer and slam it shut before launching myself into the bed again just before Mitch walks back into the room. He looks at me strange.

"Are you okay Scott? You look," he pauses and looks me over. "Flustered."

My eyes widen and I nod my head quickly, "yeah of course I'm okay! Are you? I'm totally fine just doing some revision you know?" I talk to quickly to seem calm but he seems to buy it as he shrugs and perches himself in the floor again. I can't help but watch as he sits in the floor and shuffled until he's comfortable.

Imagining him in those.