In His Eyes

For A Sign

Scott:

The walls around me seem to close in, the room is getting smaller and smaller as I sit, my chest is getting tight and I feel as if I can't breathe. Help.

What's happening to me?

I think I'm dying.

I can't breathe. Someone. Please. I- I want- Mitch. I'm being crushed.

The walls are crushing me. Slowly. Painfully. Help! I feel a single tear roll down my cheek and into the corner of my mouth, the saltiness seems to calm me slightly and I gain control of my breathing. Breathe in for four and out for eight, you can do this. I'm okay.

The room slowly starts to get bigger, I feel the pressure lift off my chest and I'm able to gradually sit up straighter.

What happened? Why did that happen? Did I just have a genuine panic attack? I stay sitting down for a while, breathing deeply and trying to figure out what happened. I can't. With shaky legs I eventually get up from my position and walk outside, I promised to be there for Mitch.

I look at my cracked phone and see that I have twelve new messages from Mitch. I closing my eyes and taking another deep breath I begin listening to them in order. The first few are just of Mitch telling me to call him back as soon as I get the messages. But then they change, he starts asking if I was okay, his voice sounds raspy as if he can't breathe.

"Scott... Please answer... I'm worried... Your friend said you weren't feeling great... I need to know you're okay... I'm scared." Mitch whispers into the phone, his voice breaking slightly. I look at when the message was sent, three hours ago.

Continuing to walk down the abandoned street where I live I start to wonder why Mitch was so worried. Maybe he's just panicking over his chemo tomorrow. Yeah, that's probably it.

The walk is long but when I get to the house I stop outside. It's quiet. Too quiet. My knuckles bang gently on the red door and I step back waiting for an answer. I get none. I bang the door again, slightly harder this time, and wait. Still no answer. Trying the door handle I realize it's unlocked so I push open the door and walk into the lit hallway. I call out Mitch's name but when I get no response I start to panic. They would never leave the door unlocked like this. None of them. Going to the kitchen, then the living room, then the office I find no one. So I walk slowly up the stairs and check Mitch's room, empty. I check his moms room and then the spare room that gets used for storage. Still nothing. Slowly, with shaking knees, I approach the bathroom. The white door is shut so I knock gently but still get no answer. I again try the handle, it's locked. I turn away and start to walk back down stairs thinking Mitch is probably in the bath or using the toilet. I feel my heart pounding in my chest, something isn't right. I rush back to the door and bang again, I listen carefully and hear a tiny moan. Something is wrong. I use my shoulder to try and break the door in like I've seen in movies but it's too hard. Think Scott think! I look at the handle and notice that it's one of the locks you can undo with a coin. I need a coin. A quarter or a penny or something! I search my jean pockets and then my jacket pockets but find none, I rush into mitchs room and start rifling through his drawers and desk until I find a money box, I try to look for an opening but can't find one, so I close my eyes and throw it at the wall shattering the China. I grab the first coin I see and sprint back to the bathroom, I dropping down on my knees I fiddle with the handle and the coin for what seems like years, I drop the coin countless times because managing to unlock the door. As soon as it's unlocked I shove the door open and find Mitch in an empty bath fully clothed with his eyes shut and jaw dropped open.

His face looks blue.