The Side Bitch

4|Living in our memory

^^^ Family portrait (Angel at the age of 4) 

Hiya y'all, just because someone is no longer physically with us doesn't mean they have left us and no matter what, even as time goes on memories never die.

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A week later,

Friday 12th October

My so-called sleeping schedule was reduced to nothing: I didn't attempt to sleep or take my pills. I was like a lost balloon floating around not really knowing what its purpose was or where to go. I hated myself for what I had done to my mother, my father hated what I had done to my mother.

I had killed his wife and he was stuck raising that same child who ruined his life. As the sun rose, I tried to enjoy the sight. Mom's favourite phrase flashed through her head. 'A new day a new beginning.' 

I wish it was as simple as that, a new day a fresh start if that was so I would reset everything.

I had stared out my window all night, I had seen countless shooting starts I wished for the same thing over and over. But it never came true, because here I still am without the person I miss so dearly, here I am in this malevolent world. Though, sometimes I do feel like she's near maybe in a cloud that rushes by or by a star in the star-filled sky. I hoped with all my might that wherever she is she is happy because she doesn't deserve any less.

Feeling morose, I stood up from my bed when it was time to get ready for school. Placing, ice on the bruises on my arms and stomach I flinched at the pain but still kept the ice there for a while before moving it to my lower back. Quickly, I took a shower before changing into a grey hoodie and leggings.

I put on a lot of make-up around my eyes blending it in trying my best to hide the large bags under my eyes. Before, stuffing my unfinished homework into my bag, putting on my trainers and walking to school. The whole time I felt as if someone was following but every time I turned around I would turn to see no-one or a few people from my school giving me an odd look.

I put my headphones on and let the music drown me from the real world. The noise around me slowly faded and I felt some stress roll off my shoulders. I entered the school and walked into my math classroom to find it empty, after looking at the time I realised it was still 15 minutes until class started.

Laying my head on the desk, I closed my eyes only to be told by my math teacher that I have been moved down to class 2. Apparently, my grades dropped and other people now have a higher grade then I do. Which was bizarre but I made no attempt to argue, it was the least of my worries. I walked into my new class and sat down in an empty chair.

Here I was thinking I was late I mentally cursed.

I stared at my new schedule to my dismay, I knew where all these lessons and rooms where. Why because it was Monica and Michael's time table.

Lucky me! 

The bell rang and the rush of students could be heard I remained with my head down as my fellow classmates entered. "Who's this in my seat?" A person with a raspy deep voice yelled in my direction.

I didn't even bother to look up at him just ignored him and his presence. "Hello!" He yelled. the atmosphere seemed to change as the loud class went silent. Once again I ignored him not wanting to deal with him. Rudely, he then pulled my headphones out of my ears. Frustrated, I stood up and glared at the man in front of me. "What is your issue?" I snapped.