A Crown and A Curse

Chapter 35: New Understandings

Kian

I paced back and forth in the cold hallway, eyes trained on the door to the infirmary. Cayra and Areis had been in there for hours, working to keep Zora alive. My hands shook at my sides as I remembered what had happened after she had woken. 

I felt the color leave my face as Zora's face grew paler and paler. The darkness around me swirled and contorted, reminding me of storm clouds. Hands shaking, I hoped the sudden movements meant she was fighting with everything she had. Suddenly, the darkness began to spiral towrds her chest, like a funnel cloud. It was as if she was absorbing all of it. Her body thrashed against the ground, I shifted to try and hold her steady, but the force of her power threw me back. Fine then, this battle was hers to fight. I just wished I could do something more than stand aside and watch. 

My heart thrummed fast and my breaths were quick and uneven. I recognized the anxiety of a panic attack as it overtook me. Not here... not now, I thought, deepening my breathing and trying to stay focused. I trained my eyes on a small pebble in front of me. My adrenaline spiked, but I forced myself to focus on the pebble. I just had to breathe. I dug my nails into my palms and trained my thoughts on the feeling. I let the pain ground me in reality. Just pain and the pebble. Focus, breathe. I hadn't had an incident like this in a couple of years. They came often when I was young, I had spent my waking and sleeping moments in anxiety, gripped by night terrors or random panic attacks. However, as time distanced me from my departed family, the attacks had become less insistent and I began to move on. I had learned to accept my new reality and to stop fearing what I could be fighting. 

I slowly came back to myself as the darkness around me began to calm and I was once again able to see stone walls and the dim light of my friends' torches. I got to my feet and ran to Zora's crumpled body, crashing to my knees by her side. In moments, the others had joined us. 

Cayra knelt next to me, bringing her fingers to Zora's wrist. 

"She has a pulse, it's incredibly faint, but it's there," The young healer breathed. 

"Zora?" I asked gently, brushing stray strands of ginger hair out of her face. 

Her eyes slowly fluttered open, they were dull, as if she couldn't quite wake up fully. 

I sighed in relief when she mumbled: "I'm... okay." 

I woke up to the creaking of the infirmary door, scarcely recalling how I had fallen asleep in the hallway. Areis stepped out and helped me to my feet with a small smile. 

"She's still out like a wet torch, but she's steady. Cayra and I are exhausted, so if you could find someone to look after her while we rest up..." He said. 

I nodded, "I'll do it myself."

"Thanks, not just for this, but for bringing her out of there. She likely wouldn't have made it otherwise," He gripped my shoulder, before turning to leave, "We all owe you one. She's our family, and now so are you." 

I smiled reassuringly, not so sure that I deserved the praise. It was helping me that put her in the position to lose her life. I knew that every single person who fought would be put in the same position many more times. It was a weight I would carry for the rest of my life. I carry it so no one else has to.

I walked into the warmly lit infirmary. A fire blazed in the hearth and the smell of herbs and oils gave me peace. Zora laid on a cot against the wall, Tyri's cloak draped over her like a blanket. The color had come back to her face. I sighed in relief, sitting down in the chair next to her and taking her hand in mine. I had almost lost her, this beautiful, strong, steady girl. I didn't plan on ever coming close to losing her again. 

The door to the infirmary suddenly swung open, as Mace walked in. I regarded him coldly, getting to my feet to meet him. His eyes darted to Zora, behind me. His face paled and he cast his eyes downward. He bit his lip as if thinking about how to approach the shattered pieces of my trust in him. 

"Your Highness, I-"

I cut him off, not having the patience to deal with pretty words and wounded pride, "When Zora wakes, you will give her a formal apology. From this point forward I or Stailon will be present in any meetings you have regarding this war." I gestured towards the door, "You are dismissed. Whatever you have come to talk to me about, send your son instead." The older man's eyes blazed, whether it was with guilt or rage I couldn't tell. But he swallowed his pride, nodded curtly, and walked out without a word. 

Stailon entered a few minutes later, "Your war council wishes to meet with you. If we are to stick to the plan, training and preparation need to begin immediately. We've little time, with our most recent," He sighed, gesturing to Zora, "Setback." 

I got to my feet, knowing he was right, "Send Hestia to watch over her." I wanted to stay there, holding her hand. But Drimore had to come first, I had a country to save after all.