Part 5 - What Now?

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Cringeworthy Award- Goes to me
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Lances P.O.V - His thoughts

I just freaked out in front of all of them!
I'm such an idiot!
How do you work your way out of that?!
You don't!
I'm such a useless bitch!
I'm just a slut like master says!
No one will ever love me!
Keith won't love me!
They'll think I'm disgusting!
I am! I'm disgusting!
I can't bring a life into the world! So theirs no point! Theirs no point to my life!
I don't have a purpose except for being a slut, a whore, a useless waste of space and talent!
I'm nothing! But I can't die!
I'm so stupid!
If I'm so useless and I have no purpose, why can't I die?! Why can't I?!
Even if none of them think that, they'll end up trying to help!
Master hates me! He'll beat me!
He'll probably kill me!
And if he goes to jail, the mistresses will!
There's no winning!
It's pointless!
My life has no good outcome either way!
I'm such a burden!
WHY CAN'T I JUST DIE!
(Then It all goes black.)

Before I even realize what happened I wake up.
I look at the time and it's 11:11.
It's only been half 'n' hour.
11:11, Time to make a wish, right?
Like that would work.
"What now?"
I brought my bag and portfolio?
Oh yah, I grabbed them so they wouldn't go snooping in my stuff.
I guess I'm drawing.
It's the only thing that I have to myself.

-1 hour later-

"What should I do now? "Other than being a useless slut

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"What should I do now? "
Other than being a useless slut.
I get up and put the drawing away. I pull out the ones from this morning. I hold my necklace and while putting them away. I go to the bed and cry.
"Why can't I just disappear?"

-Keiths P.O.V-

"It's been almost 2 hours, do you think we should check on him ?"
"Well what are we gonna do if he lets us in?
I mean it's not like he's just gonna tell us everything?"

"I have an idea."  Pidge says with a smirk,
"Do we wanna know?"
"I think you do, unless you have an idea."
"Ok, what is it?"
"I think we should send little Keithy in their to talk to him."
"What, why me?!"
They give me the (are you fucking stupid look),
"You are such a dumbass, he likes you. Plus your an alpha. We all know you would be the best option. You just have to go in their and fix whatever the fuck needs fixed."
I think about this for a bit.
"Fine. But if this backfires and he ends up hating me, I know where you live and I won't hesitate to come and stab you when you sleep."
"Ooooo so scary. That won't happen, now go help your boyfriend." They said as they pushed me down the hall. Sometimes I really hate them.

I walk up to the door and hear crying.
"Hey, Lance. You ok? Can I come in?"
The crying stops.
"Lance, please at least let me in. I won't make you do or say anything you don't want to.
I promise. Just, let someone in. Please?"
Silence.
Can't say I just expected him to let me in and tell me what's happening after that.

"I.....I can't." Well that's something,
"You can't what Lance?"
"I can't tell you"
"Can you let me in? We don't have to talk."
"J-just you?"
"Just me."
".....okay"
When he opened the door I could see all the pain he was in. Just the site made me feel like crumbling. I guess I froze. Cause he said something that I didn't think he would say...

"God I'm such a useless mess. You shouldn't be bothered with my problems. I'm sorry."

Upon hearing that, I couldn't hold back. I started crying. He kept apologizing.
"Stop"
"Stop what?"
"Apologizing. Stop apologizing. You shouldn't be sorry. Why are you sorry?"
"Because I'm bothering you. You shouldn't have to worry about me."
I saw how upset he was. I didn't understand. I pulled I'm into a hug.
He started crying harder and we just stood their not saying a word.

After a while, we ended up just sitting on the floor. I don't know what to do next.
Do I just sit and comfort him?
Am I supposed to ask about everything?
Or maybe just one thing at a time?

I wonder if he's sleeping. "Hey. Lance?"
"Hm?"
"Do? Do you?"
"What?" He asked as he sat up.
"Do you wanna t-talk about it? Just a little?"
I didn't know what to do. What if he just kicks me out?
"....."
He seemed to be thinking about the pros and cons of telling me. He was counting on his fingers and I couldn't help but think, "Your so cute." He looked at me wide eyed.
Did I say that out loud?
"Uh, uh, s-sorry. I didn't mean to say that out loud. I uh, um." I blush and rub the back of my neck.
"I-it's ok. I'm not used to being praised. It's nice." We both blushed but then I questioned what he said a little bit.
"What do you mean your not used to it?"
"Not used to what?" He looked confused.
"Being praised. You said your not used to it. What do you mean by that?"
He looked shocked that he had said that. Scared even. Did I do something wrong?
"Did I say that? I didn't mean that, it just slipped out I guess." He laughed nervously.

-Lances P.O.V-

That sounded real right. Just a slip of the tongue. No reason to question him.
"Lance, tell me the truth."
He saw right through me.
"I-I can't, tell you." Pls stop asking. You'll hate me. You'll never love me back.

I hadn't even realized I was crying until I heard Keith. I must've been muttering to myself because he started reassuring me.
"Lance, it ok. I won't hate you. I love you."
You looked at him in aw. But even if he loved me, nothing good would come if it.
"Even if you do, it's a waist. I'm a waist."
I began to cry again.
He pulled me into a hug.
"Lance. That's not true. And whoever tells you other wise is a jackass."
I giggled at that remark.
I felt safe with Keith. Should I tell him?
"Lance. I just want to help you. I won't hate you." He sounds so sincere.
"I'll love you no matter what. Promise."
"I l-love you t-to Keith."
"Good." Was all he said, and before I new it.
He kissed me.

Idk why, but I feel proud that I managed to do this in exactly 1111 words.
Kinda weird though.
For anyone who actually cares, I didn't know where to go with this.
Sorry it took so long.

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⏰ Last updated: Oct 09, 2019 ⏰

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