Just Us.

JU20.

Giselle Love.

(lol go ahead and listen to that up there)

I sat in Khalil's bed staring at the wall. Where I'd been planted for two days, his bed was unmade, his shoes and clothes hung and organized neatly in the closet, his tv on ESPN, showing basketball highlights. My shirt and pants covered in his blood. Still though, no Khalil.

Those words, echoing inside of my head. Over and over again.

"A-am I d-dyi-ing?"

He was, he did. I was the last person to see him being himself, being Khalil. No goodbyes, no I love you's, just like that he's gone. Not coming back, he's dead.

"Giselle." my mom said from the other side of the door. She came in, immediately coming and sitting on the bed beside me. "Oh baby."

"Why me? Why fucking me?" I asked confused. "What the fuck is so wrong with me? I lose everything I love, why fucking me?"

"Oh baby I know."

"He's dead, he's fucking dead. Just like that, gone he's not coming back. He's never fucking coming back, mom he's dead." I cried as she pulled me into her arms. "How could they just fucking take him from us like that? Kill him right in front of me, in front of everybody? My boyfriend died in my arms, the father of my unborn died in my arms. It's not okay ma, it's not."

"I just want one more day with him, they fucking took him away. Why me? What's wrong with me?" I cried as she held onto me tighter. "I watched him take his last breath, what about Kari and Kai? What am I about to do? What are they about to do? Over petty ass shit."

"Giselle you need to calm down, breathe baby." she rubbed my back as I tried to breathe but I couldn't, it felt like all the air in my body was being snatched away. "In and out, Gis. In and out."

"I just can't believe he's gone." I said. "It all happened so quick, one minute he was here and then he was gone. Right in my arms."

"I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry baby girl." my mama said as I closed my eyes. "I'm so sorry that this is happening to you, I'm so sorry."

"Juicy." I heard Kai say as she knocked on the door.

"Come in." I croaked out.

"Juicy, where's KJ?" she asked me walking in with Kari right behind her.

"Come here guys." I said patting the bed beside me, I scooted over for them both to get in. "Mom can we.." she nodded leaving and closing the door behind her.

"Is he at work?" Kari asked me.

"Khalil loved you both so much, you guys know that right?" I said. They both nodded. "Sometimes God is ready for people to come and live with him, and sometimes we can't control who and when God chooses. Sometimes God just picks randomly, God chose Khalil to come with him... in heaven. I know this may be really confusing right now to you because it's confusing to me too but Khalil is in a much better place right now, with your mommy."

"Is KJ dead?" Kai asked making me bite down on my bottom lip. I nodded my head.

"Yes, KJ is um, dead." I told her. "And it's okay to cry and be upset, it's okay. I understand."

"I don't want KJ to be dead." Kai said poking her lip out, letting tears fall from her eyes.

"Oh I know baby girl, I know." I said looking over at Kari who sat still-faced.

"He's not coming back?" Kari asked me, looking over at me. "Like ever?"

"He's not but he'll always be here and with you. He'll always be around, no matter what. I-" I stopped talking when Kari put his face in my chest and started sobbing. "Kari.."

"Please don't leave me, please." Kari sobbed as Kai cried with her face in my stomach.

"I'm not, I'm never ever leaving you two. Okay? Nothing can make me leave, I know this hard for you two. I know it is, and it's hard for me too but Khalil loved the both of you. He loved you two more than he loved himself and he'd do anything to be here w-with you two right now, okay?" I said letting my own tears fall. "I'll always be here, he'll always be here, we'll both always be here."

"You promise?" Kai asked me lifting her head from my shirt. I nodded.

"I promise. Even if it's Just Us."

okay hey bitchesssssssssss book one is overrrrrrrrrr! yayyyyyy!!

i know y'all probably hate me, i hate myself right now. i cried writing this shit🥺sorry y'all.

Q38: y'all ready for book two?

Q39: did you cry?

I hope y'all didn't it'd make me feel like shit😂😂😂