I Confess - Ironstrange

Death again and again

Stephen's POV:

"You can come see him now" the doctors voice echoed through the air. My heart leaped, and I sprung from my seat and into the room. I wanted Tony to be okay, please be okay. 

Steve stayed back to talk to the doctor. Peter joined me as we sat near Tony's bed. His eyes shut tight, he was asleep, bandages wrapped around his body, looking so helpless. 

Peter scooted closer to Tony as he rested his head slightly against Tony's chest, careful not to put too much pressure. 

"I'm sorry for everything Dad... I j-just wanted to b-be like you. I want to be just like you." Peter mumbled, tears streaming down his cheeks and the small tears landing on Tony's gown. 

I placed a hand on Peter's back and rubbed it slightly to comfort him. This must be harder on him than me. I've seen sick people on the verge of dying plenty of times back when I was a neurosurgeon. But this, this is much worse. 

This left a pain in my chest, it sent me shivers, as if I had stuck my head through the doors of hell. It was horrendous, it's the feeling where you'ed do anything to stop it. Stope whatever it is. 

I want it to stop. 

I sat there, feeling lost, as if there was nothing I could do. There is nothing I can do. 

Nothing I can do. 

"I just want this to have never happened" I stood up slowly and whipped the tears from my eyes. 

I starred out the window of the clinic room. The night sky so dark, depressing. There is nothing I can do about this, and I have to accept that. 

I waited, and waited. 

Then the realization struck me hard like a bullet, piercing through my mind as the thoughts came back to me. 

"I can still save him!" I exclaimed happily as I glanced around the room for a reaction from anyone. Nobody seemed to believe me. 

"TH-THE STONE!" I shrieked in joy as I shook Peter in excitement. His smiled beamed brighter than the sun. 

"You can go back in time!" 

I created a portal to the sanctum having no absolute time to waste. I hurried over passed everyone in the sanctum not even giving a care that I looked like a mess. Blood stains all over my robe, my hair messy, and my eyes were red from the tears. 

I pushed past all of their comments, once I had Tony again it wouldn't matter. None of it would even matter. I grabbed the eye of Agamotto and quickly placed it around my neck. As I did that Wong rushed in holding the shields in defense.  

I shot my gaze from the stone to him. He looked at me, his shields still up. Why was he acting like this, it was just me. 

"Put the stone back Strange." He insisted coming closer and backing me up to a wall. I starred at him in confusion. 

"N-no you don't u-understand, I-It's for good" I stuttered on my words as I backed away gripping the eye with both of my hands. I needed this, more than anything right now. 

"You're going crazy Strange, put the eye back or I will have to do it myself." 

"YOU CAN'T DO THIS! I HAVE TO SAVE TONY, HE'S DIEING AND NEEDS ME!" I yelled in anger as I felt my face heat up in anger. He could never understand, nobody will understand, the love and passion I have for Tony and that I could never lose him again, ever. 

"You will trap yourself into another loop, and you'll cause yourself pain. There is no way to get rid of death, once it's someones time you can't stop it. No matter what tools or tricks you have." He came closer, and closer until I could feel the heat of the energy shields. 

"You still don't get it! It was my fault that Tony is laying in that bed, his body misshaped and deformed! I can fix it if you just let me go!" I snapped angrily as I quickly opened a portal, and sped through before Wong could do anything to the stone, or to me. 

I sighed in relief as I knew I got rid of Wong on my back, and was in a safer area to do the magic and save my love. 

I glanced around at my surroundings before going through with the process. I was in a semi-populated area of New York. People did look at me weirdly, but they just went on with their meaningless lives. I felt myself grow angry at everyone, I just wanted him back. 

I fastened the eye on my neck, then opened it using my hand gestures. It opened and the bright green light shimmered against the wall of a building I was next to. I sighed heavily then summoned the time spell on my arm. 

Was I really going crazy? Was Wong right, would I just cause myself pain? It didn't matter though, I'd rather myself be in pain then Tony. I only wanted to know that he would be okay. 

I then continued the spell. Everything before my eyes was rewinding, people walking backwards, things flying up rather than falling, just the opposite of everything. After finally going back a few hours to where I think the jump was just about to start, I paused the movement of everything. 

I then made my way over to the building where there was a huge crowd of people were gathered. Probably to watch him jump. 

My heart raced with every step I took. It didn't slow, but only sped up every time I got closer to Tony. 

Finally on the top floor of the tower. The balcony doors wide open, Tony standing on the railing about to plumage into the pools of death. 

I shakily made my way towards him, his body had fear written all over it. I then gently placed my hand on his cheek, it was cold, so cold. 

I let out a quiet sob. His face was sad, he was crying, I wanted him to be okay. 

He needed to be okay. 

I then enabled the loop to try and stop his fall. The regular world time began and Tony then leaped off the bars and was speeding down the building at lightning speed. 

He was gone in the blink of an eye. I just watched my love die without even having the knowledge of doing anything. 

But luckily I set a loop and the same thing happened again. Tony was standing on the railing about to jump. This time though I grabbed his arm and he looked at me in shock. 

My heart stopped at a clear view of his face. 

"S-Stephen" his voice more muffled than usual. Like his was underwater.

I was about to pull him in and embrace him never wanting to let him go, but as I attempted to grab him his body went right through mine and he again slid off the building and landed with a loud, hard thud on the street floor. 

"TONY!" I shrieked in pain as I leant over the railing to see if maybe, just maybe he was okay. But no, he was dead, again. 

My eyes began to tear again, but then I remembered that I had an unlimited amount of tries to save him. Even though I had the knowledge of that, seeing him die each time just seems to hurt more. 

Every single time, I tried again and again, but it was the same outcome over and over. I felt crushed, I had to hope. Why wasn't it fucking working?!

I crumpled to the ground in defeat as I yelled loudly for the whole world to hear. 

"Why can't I save you?" I sobbed into my hands as I could hear the replays going over and over again. 

Was this the pain that Wong was talking about in the loop. Me having to watch Tony die every single time for the rest of eternity with loops. My mind rushed with thoughts, Tony was in all of them. 

"WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?!" 

There was silence, only the sounds of Tony jumping off every single time, then dying all over again. 

The sound of death was eating at me, creepy around my brain, submerging into my thoughts. 

"There is no way to rid of death Stephen, and it's got me."

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-soorry