Azazel Server Fanfiction Oneshots

(my essay) mice suck and here's why

Okay. First off, hewwo Nene. You evil overlord chan. Nyah!

Now, im assuming you've come here to read my essay, correct? Good. Let's continue. Now we all know that the bottom line is: Mice are stupid. Annoying. Vile, even.

There are so many mice in the world, I'm assuming at least one billion. You know what that means, right? THOSE VERMIN COULD ACTUALLY OVERTHROW US RATS. I KNOW. IT'S ABSOLUTELY INSANE. It makes me sick to my stomach. Now, it's very unlikely that it will happen because mice are stupid creatures, their brains are too tiny (small brain) to actually over throw us obviously superior rats.

H̵̡̧̫̪͈̱̪́́͑̅͌͐ã̸̡̠̳͎̮̙͈̏̀̓̈́̅͝͝i̶̗͈̪̇̅̐̌̂l̸̡͉͔̪̳̔̂̋̓͒͘ ̸̢̞̤̺̬̬̻̇̑͑̚̚R̸̰̻̮͚̓̽͐̂͆̔͆͘ȁ̷͚̌̀͒̈́͒t̸̨̡̨̮͖̗͍̪̰̲́́ ̴̢͕̮̟͙͈̠͗̓̑͊̿̀̎̾̕͝Ḧ̷̲͙̫̗̦̟̳́̉̈́͐̈́̈́̾͘ͅi̸̪̭̱͔̔͑̐̽̀ẗ̴̛̺̹́͌̇̌̃̄͝͝l̶̨͓͖͇̪͋̚̕e̶̥͙̺̲͇͙̹̬̻͒͂̔͛̈́̒r̵̞̩̯̣̹̺̙͍͕̦͌̿̈́̿̈́̔͆͒!̶̢̛̩͓̺̩̻̋̽͗̓̀͠

Ahem. Sorry about that. I blacked out for a second. Crap my nose is bleeding, I'll be right back.

Okay. Anyway, like I was saying mice stand no chance. Now why exactly do us rats hate them? Hah. Idiot. It's obvious. They are small brain creatures! And they smell bad, and they have a lot of babies, and they're tiny in general, and they're ugly, and annoying, stupid vermin that we should rid the world of. I mean, they're dirty too. They basically nest and have children in their own toilet. Like, nibba that's not sanitary, why would you do that? They spread diseases and their moms gey.

What? You've never played tuber simulator! You know it's fun...right? Now I'm not supposed to give my opinion, but give it a try, and then you can tell me if it's good or not. Not convinced yet? Okay, I'll cut you a deal. The game is available for free, and that's a great price.

I, Lord Keruu Sama Chan, The Warrior, Protector of the Protector and Nazi Commander of all Seven Hells, absolutely hate mice. Now, to be honest those weren't real reasons to hate mice, that was just the surface.

Now, since my overlord has commanded me to write an actual reason for our younger Nazis to understand just how horrible those mousey vermin are, I guess I should put actual reasons.

Reason I:

Mice are dumb.

They are so eager to explore that they find themselves in traps so easily. Pathetic. I know for sure that no rat will be so easily tricked as to go into a metal cage or on a wooden slab for a weasly hunk of cheese and get caught like a fool. Not only that, but also they will choose the most annoying place to set up a nest. Like a bed table or a closet, or a box full of clothes, or under an old couch.

They'll also run around while the humans are awake. And those dumb motherfuckers might actually eat their own babies if a human touches them. But I mean, to be honest, that's on the dumb human. What kind of idiot touches an animal's baby. Slap my head, I tell you.

Reason 2:

Mice are so much weaker than rats.

Those dirty little brats can't barely even chew through wood, meanwhile us (more big brain creatures) rats can chew through even cinder block! Take that, rodent! For real, if a human is actually smart enough to hide their food in a metal or glass container, those idiots can't chew through and feed their family.

Rats can though. I would never let my overlord chan or my brother starve. If I was told to, I would easily bite right through any glass or metal, believe it! We are obviously much stronger than them, and not to mention we're bigger too.

I mean, they're so tiny that they actually crap more. Too much.

Conclusion:

We should slaughter all mice and destroy their corpses so their spirits can't come back to haunt us. Stupid little mice.