UNFORGETTABLE SILENCE

LAST AND FIRST

I don't know what's more annoying , the lack of privacy or not seeing the need for it. About to blow out the candles but the only fire I see is the one in my eyes ... angry at the world but mostly myself and finding a way out is the least of my problems, staying out is. Trouble comes in all forms and so do blessings, I guess I always tend to forget the bright side of things but the tables have a peculiar way of turning.
Always trying to pin point the moment everything changed but that doesn't really matter now, always envisioned someone winning or losing but in the end there are no winners or losers it's just love. When I say she's my last I mean the last girl I'll ever love and when I say she's my first the first girl that showed me what love meant, I learnt alot in the past and I couldn't tell you the major difference but there's just one key thing that stood out and that is ...
We never give up no matter how mad we are and what words come from our mouth ...no matter how we feel , there's the nights where I feel like a child crying under the covers because I know I messed up and somehow even when she's asleep next to me that one arm around me pulling me closer is by far the greatest feeling I've ever felt and no amount of sex or other women could compare to that. That's what scares me, the things that should matter the least almost end up taking me over and I've found myself actually accepting my flaws and trying to work on them the biggest of all being trying to accept her past. It's a thing where I just wonder if the demons of her and our past together will come back to haunt us, deep down I know nothing is going to phase us but just knowing battles are ahead begs for some kind of mental preparation... There are few things in life that I really adore but she's the last and first I really couldn't ask for more, appreciate the smaller things in life I know it might seem hard to understand but once you find someone who's willing to look past the battered and bruised exterior towards finding what's inside, know that is truly a person that loves you and no matter what the world throws at you both ... Pick up the pieces and start again. Some flowers only bloom once in a lifetime so careful what leaves you pick off your tree of life, and always trust the process... Trust God.