Royally Screwed

Chapter11: A gist of my fears

I went home and collected my nightsuit, a pink tank top, blue shredded jeans (my favourite), undergarments, towel, toothbrush, toothpaste and floss and dumped them all into a small, sturdy suitcase. I even chucked in my Ipod, headphones (in case Ana gets too annoying) and a few of my favourite treats; Cadbury cookies, marshmallows and assorted chocolates.

And before you even ask, let me tell you straight. I am AGAINST carrying a teddy bear to bed and sleeping with it for the rest of the night. There should be a law established against this because its SO WIERD.

I closed the zip of the bag and went downstairs to greet my parents goodbye. My dad wasn’t too happy with me sleeping over at Ana’s place. Actually, he NEVER approves of me spending the night at any place other than home. Whatever, dad.

Ana’s house is just two blocks away from mine. It takes me almost three minutes to reach there walking. I dragged my bag across the street and walked my way towards her house.

Oh you should see her house; its HUGE. No, she lives in a massive apartment, not a villa. And its so beautifully decorated. Her parents are professional interior designers, so they took on the task of getting the house done. And Damn. They are so good.

When your reach her floor, you are greeted with an intoxicating smell of sweet springtime. And in front of you are pots and pots of fresh, bright flowers and plants with a pathway in the center which guides you to the door. Inside, is a grand entrance, decorated in an Indian ethnic style, urging you to step forward before dividing into the living room, the dining room and then into the respective bedrooms. Ana’s bedroom is so classy; i could waste a whole day of my precious life gawking at the exquisite furniture and the extensive detailing.

I am so begging them to get my room done next year.

Anyways, i reached the doorstep, inhaling as much of the soothing air freshener I can inhale, and rang the doorbell. It was swung open by Ana herself. She got herself all ready for our girl’s night. She even dabbed some pink blush onto her cheeks and styled her magnificent angelic eyes with black eyeliner. Talk about being self-obsessed.

“Geez Ana, we just going to have a simple sleepover. We’re not going out to the awards.” I exclaimed. She hushed me up and dragged me to her bedroom. Her Bedroom. In spite of being a regular visitor, i still get fascinated seeing her room. This always happens to me. I stand there, my mouth falling open, while the rest of the day passes by.

Today was no different.

“Stop gawking at my room! Its embarrassing!” Ana whined, pulling me over to her bed. “Okay, what do we do?” I asked, still gazing at the glass walls, to which a layer of sheet was carefully stuck, so that no one from the outside world can see you, especially when you need privacy. But you get the view of the bright world outside. Perfect.

Ana cleared her throat and began.

Uh oh. This usually marks the beginning of one of her great, inspiring lectures.

“Okay Jessica, listen. As you know, we are best friends, and we always make it a point to share & help each other with any of our problems or difficulties, no matter how complex it may be.” She saw me groaning and jumped straight to the point. “Look Jessica, i just want to help you overcome your fear of the opposite sex. I honestly cant understand why you are so afraid of ‘talking’ to them..or even ‘answering’ them, whenever you come across a guy.”

“Ana, its not that. Really i—“

“Stop getting off topic and tell me. I really want to help you. Trust me.”

“Okay. The main reason why i refrain from coming across a guy is because, i have this fear inside me. I don’t come forward because, im afraid that I might.....give in and, as stupid as this sounds—fall in love. And I’m too sensitive to tolerate rejection and other ups-and-downs that go on in a relationship. Forget that, I’m too afraid of getting into a relationship. Ana, you know my dad. He has this wierd mentality that we girls shouldn’t come in contact with a boy until we are of marriageable age. I mean, he doesn’t say anything, AT ALL against this. In fact, we haven’t even discussed this topic, ever. But then, i just happen to understand that, i’m supposed to do this, and this is wrong. My dad might be the best father i’ve got, but he’s not the type of person i can calmly walk up to and enquire about these things.”

“Oh My God, Jessica. Just forget about relationships. That’s like, completely different. The point is, why cant you calmly talk to a guy without suffering from a major heart attack?”

“Dude, i just don’t know how to communicate! When i see a guy, i just don’t know what to do? What do i talk? How do i start? How do i act? Should i talk too much, or listen more? Ana, you know how out of order my hormones are. I start going red in the face. I feel like such a damn fool.”

“Jessica, Jessica, Jessica. You’re worrying too much. You shouldn’t think too much when coming across a guy. Remember, you don’t have to change yourself for them to like you. You have to be yourself. Forget them if they don’t like your personality. There are people who will surely find your company worthwhile. For example, me. I like you for who you are. You are yourself in front of me. I love it when you are able to be normal. Even if you think you’re wierd. The point is, that you have to be yourself. Don’t ever change your character and act fake just in fear of not getting accepted.”

I felt confident listening to Ana. Sometimes, her lectures give you this feeling which makes you value yourself. Its amazing.

I smiled as a tear rolled down my cheek and went forward to give her a great big hug. God bless himself for giving me such a caring friend.

“Okay Jessica. From today onwards, it’ll be my responsibility to help boost your confidence.” I’m gonna make sure that in no time, you’ll be able to freely communicate with guys without feeling self-conscious. And also make you value yourself more.” Ana claimed, feeling like a boss.

I widened my eyes in surprise. What? Oh no. No way. Not what im thinking.....

 “What do you mean?” I squawked, half afraid of what her brilliant, but disastrous mind is planning.