Royally Screwed

Chapter 12: The best and worst day ever

Like I said, Life is great.

When life gives you lemons, just accept them and enjoy the drink.

But what would happen if life decides to give you an ugly mop just to practice talking to it, as if it were a boy?

That’s exactly what life gave me. Sitting here, holding Ana’s ugly, stinky mob far away from my face and regretting the awful choice i made, by coming to Ana’s house. For a sleepover. That means I’ll be doing this exercise ALL NIGHT. Not exactly all night, but until Ana is satisfied. Which pretty much means, ALL NIGHT. Like i said, Life is great.

“Come on, Jessica. What are you thinking? Speak up!!” blabbered Ana, confident that she will get me through this. I can feel my already punctured self-esteem bucket getting another huge hole.

I sighed and spoke to Wilson, the mop, for the millionth time. “Um..Hi Wilson. My name is Jessica. Pleased to meet you.” I put down the mob on Ana’s side of the bed and looked at her with big puppy-dog eyes. Instead, i found her face-palming herself.

“What’s wrong now? I asked, now fuming. That chit of a girl made me talk to a FREAKING mop a million times, and she still—

My trail of cursing was interrupted by the doorbell. It must be Ana’s parents. Which means, my public speaking session had ended. Instantly, my thoughts turned to joy. Oh Yeah, Oh yeah!

Ana stood up and brisk-walked all the way to the main door, unlocked it and gasped. No, thats an understatement. She SCREAMED.

A wave of panic hit me and i found myself dashing towards the door, wondering what caused her to shriek.

I turned away, fuming. This girl needs serious help.

Apparently, Ana found a bouquet of flowers placed on the doorstep with a cute little card on which an extremely sentimental, mushy poem was written and signed off by no one but her boyfriend, Ralph.

Wait—WHAT? RALPH? You are SO kidding me.

I sprinted back and shook Ana from her dreamworld, snatching the bouquet and scanning the note. Yes, it was signed by Ralph alright.

I dumped it on the table and turned to her, eyeing her closely. “When did this happen?” I asked, pretending to be infuriated.

“When you were absent..?” She replied, feeling guilty and shy at the same time.

That’s it. My friend has officially gone nuts. Now, its my turn.

I burst out laughing.

“No way! This is so awkward. You like Ralph, out of all nerds? You have got to be kidding me. Oh man, this is going to be fun.”

It sure is going to be fun. As far as i know, Ralph looks hot, but he is a complete dodo. He doesn’t know ANYTHING general. So bookish, so stupid, so silly.I might not have been able to utter a word to him, but i did get to find him on Facebook. And Damn. He is one wierd kid. I just cannot believe it. Him and Ana? The thought was too funny.  I stumbled behind, crying with laughter.

“So what? He’s cute..” Ana croaked, broken-hearted.

“You know what? Chuck this. Lets watch a movie and eat some icecream.

I strolled into Ana’s room, still choking with laughter. The best day of my life. This is going to be so much fun. I switched on the tv and and turned on Avengers. This movie is worth watching a million times. And i know many people would definitely agree with me.

However, Ana wasn’t in a mood to watch an action movie. She wanted to watch a mushy, romantic movie. So she turned on A Walk To Remember.

Okay look. I’m not saying anything against this movie, but its too mushy; it make me cry. The worst sleepover ever.

I dozed off to sleep, leaving Ana and her dopey heart awake.

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I woke up , feeling the sun spread its glory on my face.

Today is going to be perf—nothing.

I’m not saying it. I don’t want to risk this day. I’ve have enough traumatic experiences which has managed to turn my life upside-down these few weeks.

I stretched, and turned to face the clock.

My first shock of the day.

I’m late. My dad is going to kill me.

I spent my 20 minutes, hurling Ana out of the bed and running around the room, throwing on my clothes and gathering my stuff. Ana didn’t even budge. Loser.

Mentally cussing, I raced, grabbing my stuff and my shoes and sprinting out of her house. I put on my shoes and combed my hair inside the lift. The lift door slid open and i scurried out, feeling half dazed. I ran straight out, onto the road like a complete DUNCE, not noticing a blue car dashing straight towards me.

It almost hit me. I fell down suddenly, shock paralysing me. People nearby, rushed to the scene. I sat there, dazed, my vision getting blurred with black dots dancing in my eyes. A young couple, made their way through the crowd, stumbled forward and made me drink some water, while another group had their arms behind my back, holding me forward. I was just getting better when the driver stepped out of his car, making all matters worse.

I would have recognised his blue-crystal eyes anywhere. It was none other than Dave.

Like i said, Life is great.