Finding me

The One and Only

For starters if you haven't read my bio, go read it, I'm finally ready to spill everything. This is only the beginning.

My story begins with a troubling story. It's not the best. I'm not writing this for pity, I'm not writing this for reads, I'm not writing this for people to feel sorry for me. I'm writing this to try and help someone that is too scared, or can't figure out how to do it. I'm writing this so people know what to look out for. So the start of it is I have one loving household, I have a single mom. My dad was in the picture up until recently. I decided to stand up and stop going, and you're about to read where I'm coming from and how I dealt with it.

Here goes...............

You can read about narcissists anywhere. You can read a million different things about them, but you never truly understand them until you get caught in ones cycle. It's a constant cycle that is breaking, degrading, belittling, and above all exhausting. Breaking that cycle your caught in is key, but it can and will be extremely difficult all at the same time.

The cycle is disguised at first, but after talking through some things with people around you, it becomes more and more clear the more it happens. Every case is different, but the objectives of the narcissist remain the same: how many people can I trick and have under my control?

In any and every fight they're either the hero or victim. This means they're either right, and they're on top, or they get "hurt", though they're never actually hurting, it's all a show, and you're about to read why.

My experience? I've noticed that there's stages, after further research and hearing other stories, it seems these stages are a common trend amongst narcissists. A lot of times you'll notice the stages after you get free and you have time to look back and try and figure out where it all went wrong. It hurts, but in reality, you did what was best for YOU. Nobody needs an explanation, nobody needs to understand. You just need yourself.

The first stage is Isolation. A narcissist will do everything to your favor. Buy you anything, give you what you want, tell you what you want to hear, all to make themselves look good. Pretending they care. What this does is make you believe that person is the only one who you can count on because you because you get what you want and it all seems perfect. At this point, little do you know what it's adding up to. They get you away from the people who would be there to help you, who would tell you what was happening, make you realize it. It's all part of the game.

This is what I call an in between stage. It's the Bullying stage. This could be a stage all in itself, but since it's a big main objective, it gets a sub-stage. They'll start talking down to you, saying hurtful things, belittling you, making you doubt your worth. They make you out to be a person your not to everyone around you, because it makes them look good. It's never their fault.

You'll spend so much time wondering what you did wrong to be treated this way. Wondering why they can't just love you for who you are, why you have to change into their definition of "perfect". Let me tell you something, there's no right definition of perfect. Who you are, is who you are, just know you're one of a kind, there's no one else exactly like you. No one can take your spot in the world because no one else is you.

The second is Happiness. Whatever you want that will keep you happy. Their time, effort, money, actions. Anything.

Once they've conquered the first two stages, the third and final begins. The third is Control. It's the sneakiest out of all of them. A simple "no, you can't go see them today." Is all it takes to start it. At this point, they've isolated you, so you have no one to lean on, no where to run to, but to them. No matter what pain they've caused, hurt feelings, new bruises, new words, new thoughts about yourself, whatever it may be, no matter the pain, they do anything and everything to keep you happy so you keep running back to them.