Book 2: Children of Violence
Cristine her heart thumped. She could hear blood passing through her ears - thump, thump, thump-and looking down saw her red coated chest moving up and down. She even tasted textured meat that was never meant to be chew...
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Cristine her heart thumped. She could hear blood passing through her ears - thump, thump, thump—and looking down saw her red coated chest moving up and down. She even tasted textured meat that was never meant to be chewed on by a human.
She noticed how her dirty hands shook around her upper legs and inhaled. Her vision became blurry when she looked at the calm Troy.
Suddenly, she was hot and sweaty, so hot and sweaty that she wanted to run. But as soon as she tried to stand it left her body unsteady. The trembling traveled down into her legs and hips, leaving her shaky. She felt weak, as if everything just drained out of her. Yet, her heart seemed to pound even faster, even harder. She tried taking a deep breath to calm herself, but her inhales were sharp and shallow. Her vision went darker and narrow again, like a kaleidoscope.
"Breathe," Troy calmly said. "You did good." He earnestly complimented.
"Go to hell." Her eyes burned and Cristine looked away and blew out a puff of air. She grit her teeth, until blood trailed down her lip, like she wanted to cuss more and the muscles in her face cramped together.
"Hold your breath for four seconds… come on I know you can do it. Even if you don't want me to, I'll be here." Troy reassured her in a soft voice and slowly closed the distance.
"Don't," she warned him.
He raised both his arms up. "Alright. Alright. I won't come closer, but in return you have to listen to what I say… Can you do that for me?"
"…I" Finding it harder to talk, Cristine nodded in the end, as the pain in her lungs turned agonizingly sharp.
"Hold your breath for four seconds…"
Cristine almost choked on the air when she did, but Troy's collected gaze felt like a lifeline she could latch onto. Those four seconds lasted for what felt like an eternity to her.
"You're doing great, now breathe out for four seconds." Cristine pursed her lips and exhaled the air stuck inside her lungs. "Breathe in, breath out. Just give yourself the time and space, don't rush it."
It helped that he regulated his breath with her and soon enough the tightness in her chest separated itself from her lungs, liberating her. It was her and Troy catching their breaths, until it all went deadly still.
They had a silent conversation as they stared into each other's eyes. She finally looked away, tears threatening to blur her vision, but never leaving her tear ducts.
Troy probingly asked a simple question, "you want to clean up?"
"No," Cristine answered swiftly. "Let's just finish for whatever we came for and go."
With a sideward tilt of the head, Troy chewee on his lower lip and said, "I guess this is on me too, since you didn't have all the adequate means to defend yourself." His body perked and Troy removed his riffle, not missing how she tensed. He was careful to unclip it from around him and looked in her eyes. Assuring her he wouldn't do anything unexpected.
