Erin Lindsay Returns ER

Chapter 2

Jay POV

I can't tell you the amount of times I've fantasized about this. I would go to the dentist and think about seeing her in the waiting room, I would go to the supermarket and think about seeing her in the checkout line. I would be at a Cubs game and think, what if this is it? What if I see her tonight. I never really believed I would be so lucky as to run into her since she lived in New York, but everywhere I went I wondered. 

But this, this is NEVER how I expected or wanted to see her again. She looked skinny, like she hadn't eaten well in a while. She looked broken and frail and not like the policewoman who made me a better cop. And this is when it hits me, I was having a pity-party this whole time about how she left me to my own devices and had to handle everything myself, but at the same time I left her without a support system too. Losing contact is a two way street. 

I can't believe this. She fell off the wagon and I wasn't there to catch her. She was in Chicago the whole time just struggling. 

What if all of the struggling was born out of me abandoning her. I would never forgive myself. 

I want more than anything in the world to be there for her. I can't let her go on being alone. 

I watch her chest peacefully raise and lower, her steady breathing the only thing keeping me calm. When I see her eyes start to open it feels like there's no more oxygen left in my lungs. I try to gasp for air and the only thing that escapes my lips is a raspy 

"hi"