Foolishly (Lesbian Story)

7.0

Today was awkward.

I tried my best to make it seem as if none of this never happened.

I told her and that's all that matters.

It's finally not clawing on me.

It no longer rests on my shoulders.

And now I must move on. 

I mean it shouldn't be hard right?

You just find someone else.

And when that ends you find someone else.

Then you are never alone and you never have to think about what you might have missed.

That's my logic anyways.

She was quiet today.

Just like the day I met her.

But today she seems distant.

She stares blankly into the distance.

They seem stuck there.

Almost as if she were frozen into a statue but that isn't it. 

I talk to her.

She listens.

But now she can't even look at me.

And her hair is slowly starting to cover her face again and she picks at her food.

Did I do this?

No. It's not me. And it's not my problem. 

That's what I told myself.

I ignored her.

Eventually, I just stopped hanging out with her.

I needed distance.

Otherwise I'm afraid I might tell her.

Tell her that I want her to be mine.

Tell her she shouldn't be sad.

I might just break down.

And she might just see me cry for the very first time.

And she can't think less of me.

And I hate to say it-but my pride depends on it.

I can't be the heartbroken one.

I have to be strong. Independent. 

And suddenly it's me who is hiding what's real.

Because showing what's real-well that's just too painful.