Foolishly (Lesbian Story)

8.0

We're are friends again.

Or at least I think we are.

We sit and we talk and she no longer hides behind a mask.

It makes me happy to see her smile again.

Even if it doesn't quite reach her eyes like it once did. 

I've moved on.

I realized I was foolish to even think that I could love my best friend much less another girl.

She's happy for me.

Or at least that's what she told me.

If she believed otherwise-if she disapproved she would tell me.

Because that's what best friends do.

But then things got messy.

And she screamed.

And cried.

And did things I have never witnessed before.

We aren't friends.

She told me, past her volcanic tears.

We were never friends.

Friends would have never felt the way I did towards you.

I told you didn't I?

You made me believe you loved me.

Then you found someone else.

You abandon me. Why? I needed you.

But you left when things got hard.

I nod and listen and take every punch she throws. 

I would have told you I didn't like him if we were friends.

But we aren't.

I'm in love with you.

Completely, utterly, and foolishly in love with you.

I made myself believe that if I sat back and smiled along 

Then at least one of us could be happy.

But you're a monster!

A monster she calls me. A monster? But why?

You thought only of yourself.

If you weren't sure you shouldn't have sent that letter.

Was I a toy to you? Were you desperate for love?

No, I tell her. I thought I loved you. I tell her.

But she isn't listening.

She isn't screaming or crying or any of those things.

She's silent again.

And suddenly I miss the yelling.

Because silence is the worse.

It means you did something wrong.

It means their too tired and too weak to do anything else.

Silence is a punishment.

How could I be so foolish?