Remembering Snowflakes

Chapter 9: When we all fall asleep, where do we go?

Do you ever question yourself about the things happening when we all fall asleep? Do you have any idea where we go? When we die, are we just sleeping? Floating around the firmaments of the unknown? How do we know if we're really dead, or just resting? Are we alone, or there will be someone waiting for us? Do the people we leave can see or feel us? Honestly, no one can tell. Even I can't tell but, one thing's for sure. We all have someone who is made only for us who will be our guide on the other side. 

I was not convinced about what happened last night. It's so hard to take in and process. When we arrived home, I didn't bother to say anything when I got out of the car and went inside my room. I took a shower and I poured it all out. I was there for about an hour just, hoping this will heal everything I feel inside. I didn't sleep all night and just stayed outside my room's balcony while gazing at the starry night sky. I was not alone though, the full moon accompanied me until I fell asleep with the night breeze caressing my cheeks. I woke up around 3:38 am when a loud scream and cries evaporated around the whole house causing everyone to wake up. It was my mom...beating my father with her bare hands. Our nannies and all of our caretakers were outside the garden, helping the two of them to be at peace but nothing seems to work. I heard every word that came out of the two of them and it seems that my father told everything. He told everything to my mother, I can't believe that he had it in him. That's good news I guess, to make things less complicated and less more hurtful for me and for my mother. All of us deserve only the truth. It's not gonna be easy or will be fixed, it will never be. And I know that we will never be in good terms or will be okay anymore. What's done is done. What my father did will forever be engraved in my mother's heart and mind. She's the most scarred and broken here. I don't care anymore, to be honest, I anticipated this already. My family's foundation was not strong and concrete. Somehow, something will come and shatter everything that's left in us and I guess this was it. I went back to sleep again while the world is in chaos. 

What is this? Where am I? Why am I here? What happened to me? Is this a dream or a reality? 

*I was approaching the light tunnel that was protruding in an open space that was all white and shiny. Before I even escape into the dark emptiness I was on, I was pulled back again. The next thing I knew I was falling and falling endlessly in the darkness of oblivion. I felt the coldness and how empty the place where I was. After I felt that I was in a roller coaster ride, I felt hopeless and I want it all to end. When I let myself get absorbed by the vast darkness around me, I heard a voice. A man's voice and it was the most hypnotic voice I've ever heard. The voice told me, "Wait for me, wait for me, wait for me." all over again. The last thing the voice said, "Wait for me, I'll be with you." then I woke up. I decided not to go to school and rest all day. Hugo and Shevaya contacted me and checked if I was okay. I told them I was and I'll just rest for the day. 

"Good morning my beautiful, Rio! Aren't you going to school? It's time already." - Nanny Lily

"No I'm not going to school today, I'm not quiet fine. But, I'm not sick okay, don't worry."

"Good morning, Kiddo! Not going to school I guess?"- Mr. Colduroy

"Oh you're right, Mr. Colduroy I'm just gonna take a break. *winking at him*"

"Nanny Lily, can you make me some scrambled eggs, bacon, toasted bread and some coffee please? Thank you. I'll eat it upstairs."

As I was making my way to the stairs, my father was walking down the stairs. He stared at me but I averted my eyes. Nanny Lily offered breakfast but he said that he's gonna be late and will just grab something when he's in the office. Taking the last flight of the stairs, I heard someone sobbing and it was my mom. She was at the end of the bed side slumped on the corner while sobbing. 

"Mom? Are you okay? Do you need someone to talk to?"

"No, I'm fine. I just need some time alone. Don't worry about me I can take care of myself."-Mom

"Okay, I won't bother you anymore but, I'm just here if you need me. I'm always available for anything."

I went inside my room and turned my speaker on point. Good thing my room was sound proof. Nanny Lily gave me my breakfast and I ate peacefully. I  Invited her and she sat with me next to my rocking chair. As I was eating she told me about the incident last night and I told her I know everything. She hugged me and offered to brush my hair which she always do when I was a little kid. As she was humming the lullaby she used to hum when I was feeling blue I decided to go somewhere else later. Nanny Lily was like a mother to me, she was always there for me throughout the years. Even now, she's here to guide and make me feel better while these things are drowning me down. I love her with all of my heart and I'm just lucky to have her and everyone close to me here. They make my life a little less melancholy. 

After I took a shower, I prepared myself to get ready and asked Mr. Colduroy to accompany me later. I decided to go to my favorite coffee shop near a bookstore where I usually spend some of my free time into. I never guess time will stop there and something unexpectedly will happen...