Infinity The dark side - Katy Perry Fan Fiction

Chapter 40

Darkness covers up many things. It's like a cloak covering up everything whether it's good or bad. Slits on wrists or bruises on knees its a comfort for all. When I was younger I was truly scared of the dark. Nightmares appeared to come when ever the dark was lurking around ,then I realised after years I'm the monster. All my life I was running away from my self. Every blanket I hid under every time I had chanted "there's no such things as monsters " was just to comfort me from my self.

I know it's crazy to say this but my minds everywhere. My mum is dying and I don't know what to do.

'You never can fix my heart' those words chimed in my ear like wedding bells. They said that we have a choice to switch off the life support unit. Grandma and grandpa are both depressed,'Obiousily their daughter is pretty much dead' argh shut up brain. I hit my head then laughed at my self. "Your so stupid" I said out loud everybody in the hospital gave me a weird look.

I have no one to think about. I don't want Ali to see me like this she's still with Perri. It's December months have passed like a blink of an eye. talking about eyes I don't think there is a single tear left in my eyes. I smirked at my self " I brought you hot chocolate" " with whipped cream and caramel drizzle " "and two marshmallows" we said at the same time. Ed has really helping me get through this. Yes you've guessed it Ed Sheeran we're nothing more than friends. I need somewhere to crash at nights I hate hospitals and I've quiet frankly had enough of them, so I take his bedroom he takes the couch. When I refused he said it was an "inspirational place to sleep" then he made a joke about sleeping on a couch since he was sixteen.

WOOW let me start from the beginning . He came not so long ago to visit Katy. It was awkward at first but then I got to know him I loved the way he laughs and his weird obsessions over pizza and totally him as a person. so at the end I ended up living with him.

"How are you holding up?" " Sorry it's a reflex" he started cursing to him self under his breath. I started giggling "Ed I'm okay I just want to go home now I'm tired" cracking another signature smile.

"You know what I find fascinating why did Snape keep a grunge on Harry for so long?" I said walking down the stairs to the parking lot."Are we seriously going to go through this again I told you Jess he loved Lilly and Lilly went after James. Harry looks like James a lot but when snaps was younger he bullied Snape." "Our convocations are so interesting" I say scrunching my noes and laughing at the same time.

Ed just laughs. We pull up to the drive way I unfasten my seat belt and I huff. Harry Styles is sitting on Ed's bench. "It's okay he can't say anything to you" Ed says sternly I look down at my hands fidgeting with my bracelet. He put my chin up un expectedly. "I mean it Jess no one can hurt you when I'm here."

"I'm perfectly fine Ed nothing's wrong with me I'm just thinking about... Uni and.....staff" I'm so stupid. 'I know you are'. I mentally give my self a face palm, I'm starting to have a conversation with my self again argh.
" If you say so" he says smiling God his smile is perfect damn that makes me smile too which makes me look cool, 0 to my brain 1 to me yes why thank you I know I know I'm amazing no need to clap. Dafaq am I saying .

We both walk to the porch with our hands in our pockets see this is how a real best friend relationship should be and yes I'm proud I have some one like Ed.

"Ed my man how are you? long time no see" Harry says hugging Ed. I don't like his hair it's different. He is different.

They both go into a deep conversation as I stair at the rose bush they look so perfect. "Jess, Jess are you coming in" Harry raises his eyebrows. "Yeh I'm coming in a minute".

I hear laughing from the back yard know as "Ed's garden" he likes the sound of it . I walk towards the back garden.

"Mum stop tickling me it hurts" the young brunette girl says. She looks so happy and free. "Your so ticklish Jess ." "Daddy daddy come help me mummy's tickling me" the little girl giggles with excitement. A young man comes out of the rose bush with a rose and gives it to his wife, I assume. She held the rose but the thorn pricked her they all look at me like they've just realized that I'm here my vision goes blurry I'm crying.

I rub my eyes nothing they're gone. I rub my eyes again letting and let out a soft whimper still they're gone. Why does it feel like a part of me has been torn apart?

I run towards the house and ignore everyone and slam my rooms door. I struggle to lock the door my hand shacking I'm having a panic attack and crying at the same time great. "Jess are you okay Jess open the door" I don't reply I know he's going to realize I'm crying if I speak or I can shut up and not say anything ,option 2 I run towards the shower and turn on the cold water maybe he would not break the door if he thinks I'm going to have a shower?
I take my shirt of and skinny jeans and hop in with a bra and panties . At this point I'm sobbing mascara tears and my foundation being washed off by the shower exposing my acne. My body feels numb and my lips are blue.

Oh I'm a mess right now. That was me and Katy and possibly my dad? Now my whimpers are getting louder. I'm such a failure my mum is dead and I'm here fucked up. The cold water hits my face making my face redder than it already is.
"Jess what are you doing" Ed comes in sweating I can see pain and anger in his eyes. I look up at him my brown orbs looking through his blue ones. "Oh baby "he hugs me I'm cold and wet crying on his shoulder. He turns off the shower picking my petite body up and wrapping me around a warm towel.

"What happened" Ed says worried looking at my blue plumped lips. I shake my head and leave out a loud whimper and cough and cry all together. He sighs and I hug him even harder. "Don't ever leave me " I say I don't know where that came out of my jaw feels really numb and painful. He looks at me with pity.

wraps his arms around my small fragile body. " I won't ever leave you baby, everything is going to be okay I promise " he says and kissed my forehead. Hugging me with his strong arms.
He wrapped the towel around my cold body his warm hands comfort as he time to time touches my bare skin.

He then walks back the the bath and runs a hot bath and adding vanilla bubbles and lighting some candles making me feel warm inside.

He came back smiling" I'm going to light the fire then I'll come back" he said smiling. As soon as he leaves the room I jump in the bath tub making sure the bubbles covers up the whole surface and relax.

I have never felt this relaxed I smile as I feel his presence the vanilla really makes me happy . "I'm sorry for making you look stupid in front of Harry" I say blushing from embarrassment. He chucks. "He was annoying me anyway you did me a favor." I smile. "See that's the Jess I know" he takes a pause. " what happen?"

"Katy happened I can't help but think..." at this point my eyes are watering and I hate my self for that.
"She's dying because of me I put her through so much" I cover my face and shake my head.

"Jess what every happened it's not your fault you can't help it honey don't cry."
I wipe away my tears "I can't cry I don't know what your talking about Ed" I said looking up at him with my tear stain faced we both laugh and for once together it sounds perfect.

Ed leaves so I have a warm shower. I get out wrapp my self around my bathrobe. I look at my self in the mirror my acne is really flaring up I really need to go to the doctors its worse then before.

I quickly get dressed apply my medication to my face apply moisturiser to my body because boy does my skin go dry. when I finished I checked my phone. It's Christmas Eve .

I should be with Ed by the fire.

Authors note:

This took me a long time because I really needed to get in the right state of mind the right mood to write an emotional scene so thank you lovely readers I'm going to try to update more love you lovely people merry Christmas 🎄🎄🎄🎄🎅🎅🎅🎅🎅❤️