Where There's Light | ✔

45. You

Nolan was already at the creek, tossing rocks into the darkness of the dried up pit. I parked in the space beside the minivan, hugging myself as I got out of the car. My thin sweater did nothing to shield me from the cold air.

"Did I just step into a nineties teen drama?" I joked, despite not wanting to. All I wanted is were answers. At least I thought I did, clearly I was stalling.

He smiled a small smile before throwing one last rock into the creek. Then I was being wrapped up in his warm embrace. It was almost enough to make me forget about what happened earlier. Almost.

"Cold?" He asked, pulling me closer.

"Getting warmer," I said, still stalling.

Through dinner a million different scenarios played out in my head. It was obvious he wanted to tell me something, just not over the phone. As insane as the idea was, I couldn't stop think that things were about to end. That his ex had somehow convinced him to take her back.

On the drive over here I thought I was ready to for whatever was to come. Now I'd prefer staying like this, in his arms surrounded in darkness next to a dried up creek, than to having any conversation that could possibly change everything.

"Where are my onion rings?"

He let out a soft laugh. "Well, you were taking too long and they were getting cold, so..."

The sheepish look in his eyes was cute. "Sorry, my mom was being a little clingy tonight. I don't think she wanted to stay home alone—"

He cut me off with a kiss, fogging up my brain and making me forget everything except his lips. A distraction I wanted but didn't need at the moment.

Before I was too far gone I pulled away, hopping into the opened trunk of the minivan and finding a blanket to keep myself warm. Nolan followed suit, settling in next to me under the blanket.

"So, what happened?"

"Nothing," he said a little too quickly before backpedaling. "I mean, it was nothing. No one. Just—"

"Your ex-girlfriend?"

His brows furrowed with confusion, probably questioning how I could know that.

I shied away from his gaze, realizing I should've said something sooner. "I overheard you that night at the carnival. She's the only other person I've heard call you Nole."

"You never told me that."

I shrugged. "It wasn't any of business. Then I sort if forgot about it. It was her, wasn't it?"

"It was," he admit, quickly adding, "Nothing happened though. She was her new boyfriend, actually. She just wanted to apologize for what happened between and talk about her new therapy and goat yoga?" He shook his head as if trying to rid himself of the image. "It was...weird."

"Was that all?" I asked and glanced over at him, hoping I didn't sound as insecure as I felt, but I felt like he was leaving something out.

"Yeah," he said, brushing the question off. Then he looked at me, cocking his head to the side. "You jealous, Harris?" A smug smirk formed on his face.

My mouth opened, but no words came out. How was I supposed to respond to that? Nolan's shit eating grin definitely didn't help matters. "I don't appreciate your enthusiasm about this."

He laughed, deep and pure. "If you overheard us, like you claim you did, then I suggest getting your ears checked. What did I say that night that could possibly make you think I still wanted anything to do with her?"

Before I could even attempt to defend myself he continued.

"What have I done this past month, these past couple of months, that would make you think I was interested in being with anyone other than you?" His fingers slid behind my neck, his thumb caressing my cheek as our eyes locked. "I chose you."

Those three words swirled around in my chest, warming every part of me. I had three words of my own. Three words that slipped out so easily it was like they were made for me to say to him and only him.

"I love you," I said again. Once wasn't enough. I could say it a million times and it still wouldn't have expressed exactly what I felt for him in that moment.

An array of emotions flashed across his face like a slideshow. Confusion, surprise. The smile broke me. The kiss, passionate and filled to brim with silent I love you too's, made me feel like I was floating.

I never wanted to come down.

* * *

"Do you like donuts?" Gia didn't allow any of us to answer before diving into a long winded story about a donut shop she walked into by mistake yesterday and how that lead to her to adopting a parakeet.

Bee looked up at Gia with literal heart eyes due to the sunglasses she, and what seemed like most of the school, were wearing. The cheerleaders passed them out, along with stickers and buttons and boxes of candy hearts to get everyone in the mood for love day. The school was already flooded with red, pink and white decorations.

Personally, I think the school was just running out of ways to spend that anonymous donor's money.

Something bouncing off my cheek broke me out of my thoughts. The object fell into my lap and I picked it up, a candy heart that read 'you rock'. I looked over at Nolan who was digging around in a box of his own candy hearts, his hair pushed back with red heart sun glasses.

"What?" He said innocently when he caught me glaring at him.

As hard as I tried I couldn't keep from smiling. It's happened just about every time I looked at him since I told him how I felt over the weekend.

"Oh my gosh," Gia exclaimed. Nolan and I tore our eyes away from each other to look across the lunch table at her. She was staring at us with an excited grin. "Have you two taken your photos yet?"

"What photos?" I asked.

"For your prom campaign," Bee explained, finally joining us from the cloud of Gia she'd been on lately.

She pointed to a poster on the wall that I thought was just part of the valentine's decorations. Upon further inspection I realized I knew both of boys from one of my classes. They were a cute couple, both of them wore crowns that sat crooked on their heads, one guy in his letterman jacket and dipping the other as if they were about to kiss. Prom Kings 2020 written in gold above them.

"No."

The three of us turned to Nolan, his face twisted in disgust at the idea of having his picture taken. Even now he hates when I try to get him to pose for a picture of us together.

"No? You can't say no," Gia told him. "You need a poster. It's mandatory. Besides, how else will people know to vote for you?"

"Word of mouth," he said dryly. All this talk about having a life sized poster of him plastered around campus made him visibly uncomfortable. I felt bad for laughing.

I wrapped my arms around his waist in an awkward side hug as an idea sprung into my head. I could work around him not wanting to pose for a picture.

"Don't worry, I have an idea."

He looked at me expectantly. "Care to share?"

"I'll paint it." The dread and gloom vanished from his features. I turned to Gia, "That'll work, right?"

"I don't see why not."

Happy that he didn't have to pose for some portrait, Nolan kissed my cheek, whispering a thank you in my ear. Blood rushed to my cheeks and for a moment I forgot we were sitting in the quad surrounded by our peers. I was rudely reminded when Gia began telling us all the words she was teaching her new pet bird.