When We Collided

The Inevitable

My parents had always taken pride when it came to my self-discipline. After that phase with Rick I had proven myself to be a person who always did the right thing. I never gave them any grief.

I called on said self-discipline when I arrived at the studio where we were going to shoot a music video show. We were the guest VJ hosts for a month. I had experience as a VJ before--seemed like I dabbled in almost everything--but Onyx hadn't yet.

My epiphany the night of the premiere did not blind me to the fact that Onyx and I were forbidden to be together. This was repeated to us time and again by our managers. They enumerated the many love teams that did not end well because the people involved dated each other. One of them was the PhylLeo love team (short for Phyllis Hideki and Leo Felipe). They had a successful love team until they dated each other then broke up, which triggered the dissolution of their onscreen pairing.

There was my history with Frank, of course, although the management never got wind of it. We still saw each other at the offices sometimes. I didn't have feelings for him anymore but talking to him felt somewhat awkward.

Exploring the possibility that Onyx and I disregarded the rules and dated each other, I didn't think it would be that bad. I knew him well, and vice versa. I knew we were professional enough to set our feelings aside whenever our job required. But, looking back at what I experienced with Frank, I was very much aware that it would hurt so much if things went badly.

I wasn't the type to shy away from things because I'd been burned before, though. I believed every situation was different and I couldn't throw away a chance at happiness because of one bad experience.

I guessed our willingness to risk it all really depended on how strong our feelings were for each other, though. Which brought me to my next point.

I wasn't sure at all if he returned my feelings.

I actually was not sure whether or not our moment at the premiere was real. If it were, it must've been brought about by the movie we were watching and my overactive imagination. If it were real, I wasn't a hundred percent certain that he did it because he had feelings for me. He could've just been touched by the scene.

What if I were to confess my feelings for him and he told me he didn't feel the same way? Pain as I had never felt before hit my chest. This was even worse than what I felt when I broke up with Rick.

What if he then kept his distance afterwards? I didn't think I could bear it if I were separated from him.

Maybe it was better to be his friend and remain in his life. I just had to take it easy and keep my emotions in check.

I greeted him when I saw him, same as everyone on the set. We didn't have time for small talk because we started filming immediately.

Thirty minutes into the show, the director called for a break. Onyx looked at me with a puzzled expression. "What's wrong, Shana?"

Oops. Aparently I overdid the emotion-curbing. I took a deep breath and released it in a whoosh. "Nothing," I replied, smiling at him tentatively.

"There it is. That beautiful smile. I was looking forward to it all day," he commented while holding my chin playfully.

My heartbeat skidded to a stop then restarted double time. "Stop it, Onyx," I pleaded. "The cameras aren't rolling anymore. You don't have to act too sweet to me."

He stopped grinning, looking me in the eyes. "Sometimes, I wish the cameras would roll forever. Then I wouldn't have to stop showing my true feelings. Then I wouldn't have to start pretending I don't care."

Shit. I was so done for.

Good thing it was time to get back to the show. I had a few more minutes to hide behind the cameras instead of overanalysing his words.

"So, why did you choose this song? It's so depressing. It's so not like you," Onyx commented, making a face at the camera.

"It was my song right after a guy broke my heart. It serves as a reminder to always be careful in choosing the person I next give my heart to," I explained to him.

"Who is the guy?" he asked out of the blue, completely off the script.

I stared at him. This dialogue was being recorded. He knew not to ask such questions! "You don't know him," I evaded.

"No, seriously. Who is the guy?" His tone was harder now, more insistent.

I watched the staff and crew in front of us, embarassment heating up my face. I suddenly remembered Jessica telling me once, "Onyx is generally good-natured and reasonable, but sometimes when provoked he could get quite possessive and jealous." This must be what she was talking about.

He probably noticed my discomfort because he smiled apologetically. "Okay, but you're telling me later."

"Right," I replied to reassure him and stop the turn of conversation.

We wrapped up the show. While the staff were packing up, I took his hand and pulled him to a secluded spot. "What was that all about?" I asked him under my breath.

The look he gave me was intense. "Are you going to tell me who that bastard was who broke your heart?"

"No. Even if I told you, you wouldn't know him anyway. Besides, he doesn't matter anymore."

He smiled at my admission, and a different fire lit up his eyes. Before I knew it, his lips covered mine in a searing kiss that screamed of desperate passion.

I couldn't help meeting fire with fire, giving as hard as I got. We couldn't seem to stop.

"Shana? Onyx?"

The distant voice shattered our moment. We broke apart, gasping.

"Shan, there's something I have to tell you. Can we meet later? I'll pick you up from your house tonight," he said.

"Okay."

There was no escaping this now. The inevitable was finally going to happen.

Photo credits: http://fc03.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2013/243/c/3/embarrassed_chibi_by_manami_yukihara-d6kj4lw.png