In My Feelin's

Baby

I'm sorry I been distant the past few days

I been feeling pretty low

I been trying to push you away

But you still there and it makes me hesitate

You're still here making me laugh

Making sure that I'm eating or that I ate

You're still here with me playing Minecraft

I'm not feeling like myself when I'm all alone at home

I isolate myself and turn off my phone

But I turn it on again because of you

Just a simple hello makes me feel much better

I promise you im trying to stop bottling things up

I'm not even sure if you noticed I was distant but I was n Im sorry

I still sort of am and I guess I just need a warm hug (from you ofc)

I love you, I know I say it a lot normally but I want you to always know that

I can't put into words how I'm feeling or why Im upset or angry most times

And Im sorry, I'm trying my best but I'm not sure how to talk about things that bother me

The problem with Chance has been a huge issue for me

I'm loosing a lot of friends slowly and it feels like I'm being abandoned again

I'm not sure what to do other than cry

I don't want to do what he does all the time and get high

I don't know how to cope and I know if i keep going down this path of not knowing what to do

I'll loose myself and Itll take me a while to find me again

Turning 16 for me is stressful and scary, that's why I don't want it "special"

My birthday isn't a good day most times because I've been left several times on it

That scares me that you'll leave like they did and I know you're like 1,000% different than them but

It still scares me and it breaks my heart to think about it and that's the main reason I've been crying today

I don't want to loose you ever

Hell I want to marry your Peppa pig loving, weird, adorable ass one day

I'm not as strong as I try to be, inside im always freaking out and sensitive

I'm sorry I can be difficult a lot, I'm trying my hardest though..