As I close myself off from the world
At an innocent little girl curve balls are still hurled
The dark, harsh reality hitting her right in the face
As god plays as the referee in a death game, a race
Who can I make jump to their death first?
To take their life without a single person to hear their life story in verse
But man I wish that shit really worked, to play that uno card reverse
But I guess growing up, you never expected to be tortured in such this large universe
Everyday is a struggle for me, feeling this weight on my whole body
Like I'm drowning
In an ocean full of depression and anxiety, the thoughts of the people that fill my head.. With fear
With sadness, with anger, resentment, to be alive
Taking them pills they say will help me, to see this so colorful world full of happiness and good things
But really it just blocks out the cruel dark reality of seeing everything dull the way it is like a bird without wings
Flightless, can't go anywhere but inside my head
Not even able to put my mind at ease, to put these thoughts to bed
Abandoned, left to fend for myself, to be my own support system and figure it all out by myself
So I put my feelings aside and listen to my thoughts that run wild in my brain, putting my heart on the highest shelf
Alone, in everything I do, but not really, the voices in my head tell me to stop saying Im alone because I'm not, not anymore
They're not there to support me, they're there to do the same as everyone else, to call me things, to hurt me, to call me a useless little whore
But everyday is a surprise with them, a new word and every morning I wake up wondering what next they'll have in store
But eventually we all know that conclusion, the one where it all finally goes away
Where all that hard work of breathing and feeling all that pain, finally life doesn't take from you and finally it pays
For once you'd throw life a curveball, it's time for life to finally feel that pain and for you to feel the relief of being able, to breathe
YOU ARE READING
In My Feelin's
RandomJust some raps, poems, and songs (and whatever some of them turn into) I've made while being depressed and or in my feelings
