Polygraph Eyes // Yungblud

25: "Braindead"

Time stands still, but I can feel my adrenaline pumping through my veins. My knees shake as I wait for the final verdict of your life. Im desperately trying to hold onto a little ounce of hope that you're going to be alright, but as each hour passes I can feel my fingers slipping one by one. My hands are covering half of my face, while I rest my elbows on my knees. It looks like I'm staring off into space, but in reality my mind is racing with a thousand thoughts. Adam is sprawled out on the lobby room couch across from me. It was surprising quiet, considering it was an ER.

"Do you think she's going to be alright?" I nervously shook my knee and continued to stare at the floor. He sighed and broke his gaze from the ceiling to look at me in the eyes. He could tell that I was pale from my anxiety eating me alive. He sat up and walked over to sit on the wooden chair next to me. He placed his hand on my knee to stop it from shaking. This caused me to look up at him. He gave me a weak smile and let out a long sigh.

"I don't know dom. You don't know how bad I want to tell you yes, but I quite frankly have no fucking clue." He closed his mouth, and his eyes darted rapidly all over my face. He was trying to search for more words, "No one should ever have to go through a situation like this, and it pains me to see you hurting." I let tears rise up into my eyes causing my vision to go blurry. Adam wrapped his arm around my shoulder and rubbed my arm. A second later he let go, "Now, please go wash up a little bit. You look exhausted ."  I gave him a little nod and pushed myself up from my seat.

The bathroom sat next to the ambulance rush trauma doors. The walk was only a few feet away, but as I focused at the bathroom door it seemed as the hallway grew longer. As I was just about to pass the trauma doors, paramedics rushed in with a person on a gurney. "Code blue! patient is 20 with a gunshot wound to the chest. She's stable right now, but keeps fading in and out." one shouted as doctors and nurses ran the girl through the hospital doors. They had to run by me and as I stopped to look, the girl and I make eye contact. My body froze to see that she resembled Lexi so much. She reached her hand out towards me as she was rushed through the doors. My body was exhausted so there was a chance I could have been hallucinating. I fished my walk towards the bathroom, and locked the door behind me. The mirror that sat above the semi clean sink revealed a worn out person. I poked at the dark circles that had formed on my face. I didn't even recognize myself. I turned on the sink and cupped my hands underneath the flowing water. The cold water felt refreshing to splash on my face. I tried it off with the rough paper towels that were lazily sat on top of the dispenser.

As my face was being scraped by the towel, I felt something on my shoulder. I jumped and quickly looked up into the mirror. She was standing there. My beautiful and magnificent girl was there resting her chin on my shoulder. She was glowing more than ever. She only smiled at me and left a peck on my cheek. Slowly, her body started to disappear finally ending with her face. It almost felt real. It didn't make me sad, but it  made me smile a bit. Even if it was just my brain hallucinating from the lack of sleep, it reassured me that everything was going to be okay, or that was her last goodbye. I didn't mind because it reassured me that she really loved me "I love you." I whispered faintly to myself. I tossed the paper towel into the bin that was over flowing onto the floor with trash and walked out the door.

I shoved my hands into my pockets and smiled at the floor as I walked back towards Adam. When I looked up, I saw a doctor talking to him. Adam said something to him and they both made eye contact with me. My heart sped up with every step I took. When I reached both of them, the doctor towered over me. He was a tall middle-aged man with a bit of scruff accumulating on his face. He also looked tired, possibly from all the hours he spent there. I was so lost in thought I didn't even notice him sticking out his hand.

"Mr. Harrison, I'm doctor Alicante" I shook his hand, "I'm afraid we have some good news and some bad news." My body noticeably tensed up. "I'm just going to lay it out straight to you, relaying news is one of the hardest parts of my job." He shook his head and wiped the sweat off of his forehead. "You're significant other is in stable condition and will be waking up by tomorrow night."  I let out  a breath that i have been holding in for awhile. Maybe everything was going to be alright. Maybe I'll get to have her back and hold her, kiss her and just shower her with love. Maybe I will-

My thoughts we cut off by the doctor speaking once more, "But unfortunately, due to the lack of oxygen that reached her brain during the time where she stopped breathing Its with heavy heart that I say she might suffer with brain damage."  My body froze again. I stuttered and tried to find words to get out, but just couldn't. "Will she lose all of her memories?" Adam spoke for me. "There's no real way to tell. She might recover fine and be perfectly aware once all the nutrients reach her brain, or she might not know how to function at all and completely forget every single step she has taken in her lifetime." With that Adam thanked him and he turned to me.

"Im not really allowed to let non-family people up there, but I can see you're basically that close to her. So follow me." He gave me a small smile and we walked to the door. I looked back at Adam and he shooed me away. I nodded as a thank you, and continued to walk behind the doctor.  After a dreaded walk through a hallway that smelt like bile and floor cleaner mixed together, we stopped in front of a door that read 715-B. He opened the door and let me in first. "Talk to her, she can hear you. It might help her brain activity as well." He smiled and then shut the door.

It was a scary sight to see. All these tubes were threaded and intertwined around her. I just wanted to rip them out and take her home with me. "Hi, love." I choked out, trying to hide my tears. I ran my finger across the hospital bed frame as I walked over to her side. The bed indented as I sat by her feet. "Everyones routing for you down here." I laughed as I watched her chest rise up and down. "And when we get back to donnie, everyone will be waiting for you there.  Your mum & sister, my mum & dad and sisters, Adam, Mikey and so many more." I intertwined my hands with hers. They were barely starting to warm up, but were still slightly clammy. "God lex, I hope you're okay in there. Please come back to me, I don't know if I could live without you." I let the tears run down my cheeks as I laid carefully next to her.  I curled her hair with my finger, "I love you so much, my doll. You've completely changed my life. I don't ever regret meeting you because without you I'd still be drowning in a dark place of my mind. I'd still be trying to conform to the normalities  of  society." 

I grabbed her hand again, "You're the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, maybe get married and have a family. Not now of course, but in the future." She responded by lightly squeezing my hand which only made me smile more. "That sounds nice huh. Eloping in the middle of the forest somewhere, just me and you, getting to explore the world, and one day finally settling down. I don't know where I would want to live. Perhaps I'll ask you soon."

I locked our fingers together and drifted off to sleep next to the love of my life. Maybe things are starting to look up for me.

Alexia's Mind Point Of View

"Isn't he something dad?" I smiled as I sat in a chair across the room looking at dom sleeping next to my barely living body. He chuckled lightly as he rubbed my head, "You did good picking him." Im not sure if I picked him, I think fate just had a funny way of bringing us together. I didn't feel like explaining, so I just smiled and nodded "Yeah, I really did." I was startled by my dad standing up. "Where are you going?" He gave me a smile, but it hid a face full of sadness "Back. I see that you're going to be taken care of down there." I only looked down. Apart of me wanted to go back with Dom and be able to have a future with him, but the other half of me missed my dad so much. "I wanna go with you." I said unexpectedly.

He looked at me surprised, and walked back over to me. He bent down in front of me. I looked down at him with tears peaking in the corners of my eyes. "You can't sweetie, you have a whole life ahead of you. You know I'll be watching over you." I shook my head no, "I can't live without you, I miss you waking me up for school every morning, making me my lunch, leaving a kiss on my forehead before you went to work. I miss you." His eyes grew glossy, "I know my love, but think of him" He pointed to Dom, causing me to look over at him. "He needs you more than ever, and you need him. You are each other's support system." He was right. I loved Dom, and I wanted to be with him.

He gave me a tight hug and we stayed like that for awhile. "I love you pumpkin." He said rubbing my hair. "I love you too dad." I said in-between sobs. He sighed, grabbed me by my shoulders and looked at me, "Now, go back to him darling. We will both be okay." He smiled and disappeared. I looked at Dom once more and walked over to him. I stood over him rubbing his head, playing with his messy hair that I loved so much. As I calmed myself, I felt my alternate reality growing thinner and my body starting to awake. I was coming home.