Blame

Drowning

Eventually, Elizabeth managed to steady her breathing.

But she was still far from fully recollecting herself.

She was still outside on that bench by herself, drowning in her own thoughts and listening to the repeated opening and closing of the Zippo lighter in her hand, which Jesse had given to her when Mister Afton wanted her to make her original act more exciting.

The change didn't last very long since Elizabeth couldn't get the hang of handling flaming objects and kept burning herself.

But Jesse still let her keep the lighter, which quickly became something that she fidgeted with when she felt like she was losing it.

She would pop the top off with her thumb.

Clink.

Then she'd bring it down across the spark wheel to start the flame, starving it shortly after by popping the top back on with her index finger.

Clunk.

Maybe it was stupid to be outside by herself when somebody had just been attacked, but she wasn't really thinking about it.

Clink.

Though, since she was supposedly the attacker, she needn't think about that at all.

Clunk.

Elizabeth doubted any of them had even noticed that she had gone. Despite being heads above almost everybody in the troupe she had a real knack for being able to vanish completely unnoticed.

Clink.

Scott, they really did believe that she hurt Laura, didn't they?

Clunk.

She would never. Not that anybody in there seemed to believe that.

Clink.

She wondered if that would change, or if they would end up reporting her to the cops or something.

Clunk.

Not that it would matter if they did.

Clink.

After all, if she was innocent, what was there to worry about?

Clunk.

She had nothing to hide if they questioned her.

Clink.

The only thing,

Clunk.

That really worried her,

Clink.

Was the fact that they,

Clunk.

The people she had lived with,

Clink.

Since she was fourteen,

Clunk.

Were so quick to blame her,

Clink.

To label her as some deranged,

Clunk.

Violent,

Clink.

Cruel,

Clunk.

Terrible,

Clink.

Horrible,

Clunk.

Person,

Clink.

Willing to hurt one of the only people that was ever consistently nice to her.

Clunk.

"Hey,"

Elizabeth's breath caught her throat for a moment before quickly realizing that she recognized the husky voice.

"I was looking for you. You alright?"

The question didn't process in her head at all.

"Wh-why are y-you out here, Jesse?"

Jesse placed a cigarette between her teeth and took a seat next to Elizabeth on the cold metal bench, rolling her eyes as if the answer to her question was obvious.

"'Cause I don't agree with the shit they're saying." After sticking her hands into her apparently empty coat pockets, she asked, "Can I borrow that lighter for a sec?"

Elizabeth forced herself to stop playing with it so she could pass it to her friend.

"Thanks."

Once it was back in her hands, Elizabeth went right back to messing with it. "Wh-why not?" she abruptly asked.

She received a shrug in response.

"I dunno. I just don't."

Elizabeth shook her head, "Wh-while I do appreciate y-you being on my side, that's not a very strong reason to be. If I w-were the attacker, I could very easily hurt y-you wh-while y-y-you're alone with me right now."

"Yeah, well, my job is shoving swords down my throat, so I clearly don't really mind doing dangerous things...like choosing to sit here with you, apparently." Jesse chuckled.

Elizabeth could only smile weakly in response.

"Honestly, I don't know what the hell they're all on. Arlen and that puppet have the whole lot of 'em riled up." Jesse put on a crude impression of her brother's voice, "'She clearly has a liking for sharp things. Don't you remember what she did before she became a clown?' I mean, c'mon. Didn't you literally give up your old schtick 'cause Mister Afton wanted you to start using live targets, and you were too afraid of accidentally hurting somebody?"

"Y-y-yes..." Elizabeth mumbled.

"And I remember you knocked over my drink once and told me later that you felt bad about it the whole day. Call me biased 'cause you're my friend, but I just can't see it. Only a real sick motherfucker could do all that stuff to Laura. She's nothing but nice to people."

"Do y-you think she's gonna be okay?"

"For sure. If she can hold out for as long as she did by herself, who's to say she can't hold out for a little longer while they try to patch her up?"

The image of Laura bleeding in the grass was still very fresh in her mind.

It really was hard not to try and think about the person responsible.

Who they were, why they would do it, whether or not any of them even knew the person at all.

Maybe it was just a stranger. Some random, horrible person.

After a decently long stretch of silence, Elizabeth decided to speak again.

"I really hope they find wh-whoever actually did it," she said quietly. "So that they can pay."

"Yeah, I hope that too."

It was quiet again after that.

Elizabeth didn't know how long they sat there, but eventually, Jesse stood up.

"C'mon, I bet they've all cooled down at least a little bit by now."

When the redhead didn't move, Jesse removed one of her hands from her pockets and grabbed both halves of Elizabeth's untied tie, half-heartedly tugging.

"C'mon," she repeated. "It's fucking cold. And you can't stay out here forever. You may be stronger than I am, but I will find a way to drag your ass back with me if you don't get up." She tugged again.

Slowly, Elizabeth rose to her feet and followed after Jesse.