Log Entry 4, July 21st, 10:00 AM - Lab Member 001
Skip with the pleasantries! Everyone and I MEAN everyone, that means you! Yes, you! All those with even an inkling of scientific arousal, pay close heed to what I'm about to proclaim at this very moment: July 21th, Monday at exactly 10:00 AM, will commence the first-ever "The Joint Scientific Documentation Of Everyday Life... Version 1"
"The Joint Scientific Documentation Of Everday Life Version 1?! Whatever on earth is such a dazzling thing that you have graced upon our ears, oh great Hououin Kyouma, sir?! Please do tell!" I hear you shout. Hahaha... Fret not, fellow men and women of science for I shall be ever so delighted to explain.
The Joint Scientific Documentation Of Everday Life Version 1 or TJSDOELv1 for short is, to put it bluntly, and shortly, is a joint operation that all Lab Members are forced - I mean volunteered to undergo. It's purpose?
TO ACTUALLY HAVE SOMEONE OTHER THAN ME DOCUMENT SOMETHING IN THIS DAMN JOURNAL OI! YOU CALL YOURSELF LAB MEMBERS?! EVEN AFTER DAY AFTER DAY OF REMINDERS ALL YOU EVER GAVE ME ARE "Oh yeah, that, don't worry... I'll write something eventually." LIKE IT'S NOT EVEN AN UTMOST PRIORITY.
(Scientist Note to everyone: IT IS AN UTMOST PRIORITY DAMN IT)
So I've had it! Just a few moments ago, I had notified each and every lab member about TJSDOELv1. All Lab Members are to submit at least one log entry before nightfall. Where it is recorded need not matter, all that is needed is for them to submit it to me via email and I shall place it in here in numerical order for all future lab members to see.
Ehehehe, now I hear you ask, "But sir, what makes you so sure that they will so easily do as you say if they've been ignoring your orders all this time?" Well, well... a very very good question there future-lab-member-that-may-or-may-not-exist-to-read-this-why-am-I-putting-dashes-everywhere? Oh, ye of little faith... have you even any need to question my capabilities, fictional-person-with-a-lot-of-questions?
It's quite simple really. I have leverage. I have something of extremely high value to every member in the lab. Something they will never ever catch a glimpse of until they've done what is asked of them. Even more extraordinary, I've stumbled upon it on mere coincidence! Ha! The choices of Steins;gate smiles upon me today! I thank you!
And the prize leverage that I have acquired? Shipped presents and gifts from none other than our very own Lab Member 004. Oh, Christina, Christina, if only you'd known what your goodwill is being used for. Well, I'm sure you'll forgive me. You always do, don't you? ;)
Well just look at that, perfect timing! The wave of notifications has begun. You can't hear it, but my phone has started to buzz on the desk harder than an earthquake. Ah well, complain all you want everyone. I WILL NOT SUBMIT. I WILL NOT WAVER. SO FOR THE LAST AND FINAL TIME-
Write something in here, if you'd be so kind, kay?
El. Psy. Congroo.
YOU ARE READING
A Scientific Thesis of the Trials and Tribulations of the Council of Lab Members
FanfictionWhat's this? A journal? Could it be? The classified secrets of the Lab, for the first time ever, penned by none other than by yours truly, Hououin Kyouma!? The very fabric of scientific discoveries lays in the everyday life, and as such, I have dedi...
