I'm just depressed.
I'm sad.
I don't know why.
I just am.
Everythings weighing down on me.
It's all pilling up.
All the meories,
They're choking me;
They wrap their hands around my throat
and kill me slowly,
with the images,
and conversations,
had between me and them.
All the fucking days
with the dead
Horses.
Or at least, dead now.
Playing in the snow with my now dead nine dogs.
(Only six of them lived and two of them were adopted out the other four we have but its not the same)
Yelling at my also, now dead bird.
Listening to Knives And Pens in my bedroom drawing 'Andy Sixx' for the hundreth time.
In the living room laughing with my mom and brother.
Those are the bittersweet good happy memories.
But then there are the memories that just flat out pain me.
Curled in a ball in the corner of my room
as my mother and brother screamed at eachother.
Crying while we searched the streeets for my brother who had
ran away
once again.
Punching the wall repeadly
yelling at God,
asking why.
All the times i threw things at a picture of my father,
blaming this all on him.
All the times
I broke down in my room
all by myself
as my mother and brother
screamed the top of their lungs.
All those memories that just stab me in the heart.
Like ice cold daggers.
But my fiture will be better, I know that.
