Abusing Love

Eren's Choice

I think an Eren POV is due. There are a lot of emotions right now, so be prepared. Also, Trigger warnings if that's how it's going to flow. Right now I'm just going to let my mind tell the story. Enjoy, and don't hate me~!

After leaving Hanji and Mike at the bar, I head back home. Why go out anyway? there's nothing for me to do anyway. Why did I even go out? I didn't want to talk to Hanji about Levi, I can't even bare to even think about him. Why did she even bring him up?

Soon I'm back at the apartment, and I'm greeted by none other than Levi.

"Hey, where did you go?" He demanded, staring me down.

"Out." I reply sharply, and moved past him to get in. He followed me, slamming the door behind him.

"What do you mean out? You didn't even have to go into work today. Where the fuck did you go?"

"I went to Maria's with Hanji and Mike. Happy?" I retort, and glare at him. "Is there a problem for me to go out with my friends, which by the way are your friends too?"

He frowns, "Of course, but I didn't know-"

"Of course not, you never care anymore! How can I tell you anything, or do anything with you if you just go off doing whatever you like? You don't tell me anything either Levi!"

He looks away, "I can't tell you everything Eren."

"Why? Is it because you don't trust me? Is it because I'm..Because I'm a m-monster?" I scream with tears in my eyes.

The look in his eyes was full of shock and hurt, and he tries to reach out to me, "Eren-"

I turn and run into the bathroom, locking it behind me. I slide down with my back against the door, and sob into my hands as he pounds on the door.

"Eren! Open the door! Eren, open the fucking door!"

The tears don't stop, and I don't reply to his rants. All I want is to be left alone, because that's what I deserve.

Because I'm a monster.

Why didn't I see this before? He's trying to separate himself from me. He's afraid that I'll hurt him, and I should not be with him. I can hurt him, and then I'll be all alone. He's right, I'm a monster...A fucking monster...I don't even deserve to be happy. I don't deserve friends. I don't deserve him.

I don't deserve to even be alive.

"Eren, please...please talk to me...please open the door.." He whimpers, but I don't say anything. I get up and move to where the first aid kit is, and dig through it to find what I'm looking for. I grab a scalpel from when I was studying to be a surgeon. I grip it tight in my shaking hands.

I deserve every painful thing that happens to me. I'm not even human. I'm just a monster that deserves to die.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, and set the blade against my throat. I hear Levi pause, "Eren? What did you say Eren?"

A tear falls down my face as I press down a little, "Goodbye, Levi."

"Eren! Eren, what are you doing! What do you mea-" He slams against the door as I slide the blade across my throat, and he busts in as my vision starts to blacken.

"EREN!"

Do not hate me. I'm going to probably update in another few minutes, so hopefully that'll make up for this short chapter.