Reminiscing Indigo

Dryerbang 2

I'm starting to understand why every summer started to feel less enjoyable,
how things just began to die out, things that made me feel so happy became of less interest to me.
As summer days continue on, changes are transforming drastically than usual
everything feels like an ending
It always feels so melancholy
Yet could be so peaceful once
It's all through and done with
I always love to live in the moment
But I'm starting to think maybe
I'm in love with it too much.
It has been overwhelming
To pick up future plans.
But I think I rather face something new
Then something familiar hurting me.
Because familiarity of this pain
Brings me back to something
I want to grow from.
It reminded me too much of you
How your mono tone
And silence left me to question
When all I wanted to do was be of help.
How I was always ears but no mouth.
Like how you snapped
I think I'm starting to notice
I'm doing the same thing.
All of this is a familiarity I want to
Grow from.
It's always the summer I secretly felt hate for it
But I know things don't always have
To feel this way
But you don't understand how
Much this is starting to feel
like a curse than
Another life lesson.
It hurts me to think
All of this might not
Last like I hoped
I can't lose myself again
When I know better now.
Why can't you see that?
Why cant none of you understand?
I've let myself always
Appear unbothered
And calm
But all I want to do is cry.
I refuse to though
Because I know
I can paint myself
Into something better
I've always let myself be
So vulnerable
I understand that maybe
My vulnerability shouldn't define me anymore
Summer is truly of bittersweetness.