Letters to Josh

fifty//the end.

I'm on my way to his grave.

Josh's grave.

I'm going to put the letters in the ground with him. That way, he'll have them. I've put the last one into a orange letter and then all of them in a faded pink plastic box. It's small. And that's okay.

I turn into the cemetery and find a place to park. Then I get out and search for Josh's place.

When I find it, I sit on my knees, box in hands.

I open the flaps of the box and look at the letters. Josh written perfectly on the first one. Every letter I've written. Every love note I've received from Josh is in the box. I feel tears start to form in the corners of my eyes and blink. I close the box and set it down next to me.

It's chilly out. It may be February, but still. I look around the cemetery and notice a tall figure standing far off in the distance.

I figured more people would be out crying for their lost loved one, it's such a sad, stormy day. I guess it's only a few seems how I only saw three other cars parked.

I stick a finger into the cool, moist dirt and sigh as tears start building up. I blink again and some tears escape.

Get it done, girl.

I sigh again and start digging some dirt out of the ground, placing it gently on the ground next to the hole I'm making.

I sniffle and let the tears fall when they want to. I expected as much. I'm letting go completely.

My dad sounded proud of me when I called, even though he had been in an important meeting, he was happy for me.

I felt memories try to resurface of me and Josh and pushed them away. That didn't need to happen now. I'm letting go.

The hole is big enough now. I grab the box and gently put it in the hole, my hands lingering on the top of the box. I press my lips together as tears pour from my eyes.

You're okay, Kaylee. You're okay.

I nod as if someone had just told me that. I know no body did, though. I sniffle and remove my hands from the box. I wipe my hands on my dark jeans and then wipe the tears off my face.

I look at the dirt next to the hole and then gently slide it over the hole.

Good job, girl.

I smile and then place my hands on my knees.

I just let go of Joshua White.

I sniffle and wipe the rest of my tears and stand, dusting off the dirt on my knees.

It's done. I look up and see the figure still standing there and realize I'll have walk past them to get to my car. Oh well.

I make my way slowly through the stones sticking out of the ground. I'm getting closer to the figure and see it's a boy. A teenage looking one.

As I'm getting closer I start recognizing him.

It's Tyler. I'm close enough now to see that he's crying.

My heart is breaking for him. I walk up behind him.

"Tyler?" I say, softly. He turns around quickly and looks as if I've just offended him by being here. He wipes his eyes quickly and smiles.

"Kaylee! What are you doing here?" He asks.

"Uh, letting go." I tell him, looking down. His eyebrows raise.

"Josh is buried here?" I nod and look at the stone in front of him.

Marideth Lilly Walters.

October 14, 1997 - October 13, 2012.

It makes sense, now.

It makes sense how he told me he understood Friday night.

"Kalyee,"

He had lost someone he loved too.

"She was everything to me you know,"He starts. I nod and step closer to him, wrapping my arms around his back.

"I know, Tyler. I know." I say softly. His shoulders start shaking and my heart breaks again.

We stand that way for a good ten minutes until he stops and we're just hugging.

I want him to be okay. I want him to be happy and funny Tyler again. I hate seeing him upset like this, even if its my first time seeing him the way.

He pulls away slightly. His arms are around my shoulders, tightening. Its cause us to lean forward a bit.

I'm suddenly a wear of how close we are. How we both seem to be breathing quicker. Then something clicks.

His lips press into mine and kisses me. He kisses me like Josh used to: super passionate. But there was something else... Something bigger there.

I loved Josh, I really did. But I did something I didn't think I would have done for a while.

I kissed him back.

** annnnnd we're done! Omf I hope you enjoyed this story. I liked writing it and stuff. I really liked how I did the ending because well you know its nice and sweet and cute and junk. Anyway.

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