Rainbow

When you'll grow up

" my darling,
It's mom. I'm sitting here,in the middle of the night, writing these lines while you are kicking like crazy inside of me.  You'll become a football champion,I'm sure,you love kicking around, especially on my bladder and especially during the night. I'm not sleeping anymore because you like moving here and there all night long but I'll do it again a billion times just to have you. You are teaching me the magic of being pregnant and not worrying about the time passing. You are teaching me how an unspeakable love looks like. Every kick,every move,every hiccups is a blessing. You are MY blessing. I hope I will be able to give you the very best in your life and dad will do the same. Dad and I are trying so hard to make things work between us before your arrival. You deserve a strong family to grow up happily.
I'm hoping to be a good mom to you even though I have millions of flaws. We'll grow up together,okay? I will try my best to teach you what I've learnt in my life and the things that I don't know,we'll figure them out together.
When you'll grow up,I will tell you about the amazing men of my life who you won't have the chance to meet: your uncle Derek would be so thrilled right now, not to mention your grandpa,he would be so proud of you and he would say to you "child,make your mom feel loved" because let me tell you,I was such a daddy's girl. Your brother Christopher who would be 10 now and he would be incredibly happy to become a big brother.
When you'll grow up I'll teach you everything I know about love and being loved. I'll try to teach you to let people in,because your heart should be always open to new memories and beautiful experiences.
When you'll grow up,I'll help you choosing  your path without interfering but just supporting you the best way I could.
When you'll grow up,no matter where you'll be I'll be always with you ready to help you in whatever way you'll need me to.
When you'll grow up,I will tell you about my past in order to prevent you from going through those same mistakes.
I won't be the super strict mom,you'll be afraid of but I will try to be a mom and a friend at the same time: I'll try to be your safe place whenever you'll need me to but also your best friend every time you'll need my advice.
I'm far from being perfect but I'm human. I can promise I'll try to be perfect for you and deserve your love.
I can't tell you with words how much I love you: you are the sun of my days and the moon of my nights. I would move mountains if that is what you want. I'm counting down the days and right now we are at 42 days to go and I can't wait any longer.
You are the biggest accomplishment of my entire life: I've decided to give up my job got a while,at least until you'll come. I don't want to lose any moment of it because you are making me rising from the ashes like a phoenix and I'm better when I'm thinking about you. Dad and I are preparing everything for you and by the look of your room, I can tell you that you'll be a very spoiled little baby and honestly,I don't feel sorry for it.
But for now, I sooth myself with the privilege of carrying you in the world while patiently waiting and cuddling you with my caresses. I hope you can hear my heart beating from your safe place because darling,I swear to you,it's beating for you.
In the meantime,I'll lull you with dozens of "I love you" and songs.
Sleep tight,my darling,my angel,my endless love,
Mom"