Fuck You

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The Present.

  "How much do you remember?" Remus nagged the next morning as Patton bustled around his room getting dressed.

  "I wasn't black out drunk!" Patton retaliated, "I remember everything." Patton wasn't, and he'll say it again, not a lightweight. No. Not that the thought offended him in any way shape or form. "I mean, it's fuzzy, but still," he mumbled into his shirt as he pulled it off over his head.

  "So... Logan knows and now probably the others..." Remus clutched the rumpled bed sheets, his eyes stretched wide to accommodate all his stress. Waiting for the floorboards to open their jaws and swallow him, chew and spit him out again, he stared at it expectantly. He'd rather bleed to death from splintery teeth than deal with this right now, and he wouldn't have to if he resembled mashed potatoes. This fucking stress. This guilt.

  "I'm over thirty years old! It's normal, having a drink with a friend!" Patton dismissed with a wave of his hand, swatting Remus's very real, very valid concerns away. Not entirely unusual. That is, if they were talking about something as trivial as why Mother Nature created hyenas the way she did. Poor things, childbirth was already messy enough.

  "They shouldn't be so shocked. Now where's my—" Patton whisked around the room looking for a change of clothes, and Jesus, he needed to clean his room. He found his one clean polo wedged behind his wardrobe. Remus thought he was entirely too concerned about clothes when everything had been fundamentally fucked up yesterday. Clothes were overrated, anyway.

   "Why did you...?" Remus couldn't help but ask. Trying to make sense of things was a new hobby of his. He was still an amateur. Patton pulled his fresh polo on, and Remus tried to ask again hoping he'd succeed with one less distraction.

  "Why did you admit we're friends to Logan?"

  Patton just looked at him like he was crazy. Crazier than he thought. "Because we are? I had just been talking about how I need to stop pretending we're not friends. Do you really think I'd go back on my word so quickly?" He said incredulously. "Hey, I think I left my hoodie under the bed again. Could you pass it?"

  Remus did retrieve the garment from beneath the bed, checking there were no cobwebs or spiders on it. Then he held it, frozen. Remus rivalled Virgil when it came to thinking of worst case scenarios, only Remus wasn't normally scared by them. Now... Remus knew he'd someday ruin everything for Patton. Ruin it like he ruins everything. That's what happens when you're the embodiment of bad ideas. It's not fun anymore when he's ruining something, someone, he actually cares about.

  He just wanted Patton to be happy...

  Hands rested on his shoulders, comforting and solid. "Look at me," Patton hushed. Remus did.

  Since when did his eyes twinkle like that?

  "I don't regret it, Remus," Patton said sternly. "I can't afford to spend every sober moment regretting everything." Patton smiled. "I want good memories, however few." His eyes crinkled in that simple, rare way you'd hope to see well worn into his skin one day. That private smile was for Remus.

  Patton gently took the hoodie and wrapped it around his shoulders like a cape. "I'm gonna need some tequila for this."

  Oh god.

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