INTERIM LOVER, ryan howard.

011 ⋮ happy birthday, michael scott

ㅤㅤㅤ"Happy birthday, Michael."

"What?"

"You heard me," Rachel muttered.

"Thanks, Rachel!" he called after her, but she was already out of earshot. "That's really nice."

— 

MICHAEL
Today is my B-day. People around here go crazy for it. I don't know why. Fun fact: I share my birthday with Eva Longoria. So I have a perfect ice-breaker if I ever meet Terry Hatcher.

—

There was a party planning committee meeting at nine o'clock, by Michael's order. They'd been instructed to work on his party "twenty-four seven all-day" the day prior.

Hayden was pretty disheartened that she prioritised her boss' birthday over their date.

Unfortunately, Rachel had actually followed through with his request. Most of her plans involved leaving Michael locked in his office so she could get work done.

Dwight burst into the conference room, waving a list around. "Listen. Michael wants trick candles on his cake. Make that a priority."

Rachel snatched the list from Dwight. Her eyes bulged. "No, we are not getting Michael a stripper gram!"

She ripped the paper to shreds and threw them at the bespectacled man. He even caught some in his mouth.

Angela shoved him out the door. "This is a closed-door meeting." Then she slammed it shut in his face.

—

RACHEL
Birthdays only come around once a year. So today is the only day this year that I'm gonna have to tolerate Michael's shenanigans. That's pretty nice of me considering he never respects me, whether or not it's my birthday.

—

"I'm so sorry." Jim rubbed Kevin's arm reassuringly. "When do you find out?"

"They're waiting on a second opinion."

Kelly and Ryan were passing by, their arms linked together, much to Ryan's disdain. "Second opinion on what?" Kelly asked.

"I might have skin cancer," Kevin explained gravely.

"I was watching Grey's Anatomy, and there was a lifeguard on it, and he had skin cancer too."

"Kelly, actually—" Ryan began, only to be cut off by her giggling and more talking. She did that often, she wouldn't listen to what he would say, and it was starting to get to him.

—

PAM
If I knew I had a week to live, I would probably go to Europe. And South America. And the Grand Canyon. And I would want to see the Pacific Ocean.
It would be a pretty busy week.

—

Dwight's watch began to incessantly beep. Rachel and Jim looked up from the file they had been discussing, exchanging a concerned look. The Schrute smashed his phone and leapt up. Rachel jolted a little closer to Jim.