Windows To The Brain

Rekindled

re·kin·dle/ˌrēˈkind(ə)l/verb past

 tense: rekindled; past participle: rekindled

relight (a fire)

revive (something that has been lost). "he tried to rekindle their friendship"

Something great, something you can get back. A friendship. I'm hopeful, extremely. They're great if only you could meet them. Rekindling a friendship is always amazing, the more time you spend with them the more memories flood into the mind. Like the time you might have fallen in front of them and just laugh it off, no embarrassment at all because you're that comfortable. Yes, maybe you become flustered or blushy, but that's a given. 

It also depends on the level of friendship you were on before you drifted apart. Were you playful? Always bickering and teasing and goofing around? Always giving each other wiggling eyebrows and making dirty jokes? Yeah. Maybe you had a silent agreement no one talked about, but you both subconsciously made it. Being there for each other. Trusting each other more than your own best friend for reasons you don't know why.  Subtle touches of comfort. The kind of platonic friendship where you can give them a peck on the nose and say 'you're beautiful' when they feel insecure. The kind where you just feel comfortable in the silence, no strained pauses, no reason to choke on unsettled differences that create tension. Just peace. Just you two watching your favorite show, fangirling when your favorite characters interact. No feelings added, just being there for one another. Just friends.

Until someone moves to cross a subtle line.

But you were okay with it. 

You find yourself maybe wanting and not wanting a relationship because you're just not ready and you're already happy with your friendship. You drift away and you can't stop it. You stop talking in your own time, just nods in the hallway or at work. 

Then you reach out.

You reach out and send that text or email you've been wanting to. You immediately go back to how it was. Comfortable, but knowing what lines not to cross. Things not to say. Not wanting to talk about why you might've drifted. You skype, you make plans, and everything swings into motion. You support each other and become the wall that keeps them up. You can easily read their face, even when they put that mask on. You watch them begin to catch feelings or come to the conclusion of "I'm comfortable acting platonic with them, possibly date them, but I'm okay with our relationship right now. BUT if you wanted to date me I'd be completely fine with that." Thanks, Pinterest. To much? Jealousy might ooze into your bones and thoughts because you've known them that much longer. Well. You'll eventually in your life come to that conclusion unless you're a normal person. 

Just take that step and reach out. Make sure to remember why you drifted or left in the first place. Did they cross too far into that territory you aren't okay with? Were they acting manipulative? Were they good for you? Did you have to hide them? 

Some things are just meant to drift. You don't have to forget the fun times you had and the experiences you had. 

Sometimes you need to 
just.
let.
go.