The Joker

Chapter 6

Lance was tired. So damn tired.
That Matt had left to let him sleep was nice and all, but he was still worried. They were on a Galra ship.
Since when was it possible for him to sleep here?

Not to mention the fact that Matt and a small group of other prisoners just left to save a bunch of Galra.
How much time did they have until the guards were looking for them again?

How much time until someone would notice the ruckus they made in his own torture cell. How long until they would start the search for the missing blue paladin?

Lance gulped.
Suddenly he was wide awake. He doubted anyone would ever be able to sleep in his situation.

He was about to destroy any chances for the prisoners to escape from here, was he not?

Lance rubbed at his eyes. It was useless.
Just like him. He sighed as he tried to feel what the ground felt like. It was cold iron. Only warm on the parts he had heated with his own body warmth.

Though he did not want to know what this sticky hot stuff was that was covering his face and chest and even parts of the ground.

Not being able to see was nice – sometimes.

Jokes on Haggar though. The witch totally thought she could make him a fool by showing him how he would loose all of his friends.
Or how his family would die while he tried to be a hero. Or how worthless he was.

Admittedly, the visions were quite realistic with all the blood and feelings produced in his head.

But Lance already knew he would be the death of his friends one day.
He knew that, if his friends had the choice to save either him or the universe, nobody would need a second guess.
And honestly? The universe was the right decision.

He was just a small ant in a giant world. How much worth could he have?

He was a failure, sure, he knew that. This knowledge did not need the images of disappointed aliens pointing at him and laughing at his mistakes.

He saw that everyday. He felt it every second of his life. If Haggar thought this was enough to break him, she could go and quiznack herself.

Lance's insecurities were part of his past, present and future. He could deal with them on his own.
He always did.
And if someone thought they had to interfere with him, to make it better or worse, jokes on them.
Long ago, he had made the decision to never let these thoughts corrupt his mind anymore.

That would be pathetic.
His decision did not make the thoughts disappear, but Lance had already hit rock bottom once.

Haggar had reminded him of that time, too.
But one thing was for sure, there was no way he would ever end up that far down again. He could not fall any further than he already did.
And since he did survive his own worst moment, there was no way he would not survive this, somehow.
Though this might be a lot worse than his usual down moments. But, there could always be worse. So he could deal with this.
Well – hopefully.

Lance took a deep breath, causing the wounds on his chest to burn, as they were stretched against his lungs.
Seven seconds inhale. Hold four seconds, breath out for seven.

This technique always calmed him down.
Evened his breath.
He was an idiot to let Haggars visions get him to do as much as think about his previous depression.
If it could even be counted as such.
Lance didn't think this pathetic whining was worth being called something other people actually had to deal with, to fight against.
Some barely managed, some won, others lost. His own moment didn't need much of a fight.