Dear diary,
I'm not sure what I'm doing anymore, life just feels empty. At this point I'm not even sure what I'm upset about; I think since I've been upset for so long it's kind of like a lifestyle for me now. I couldn't even bring myself to talk to Renee today. She would come up to me and try to get me to talk but no avail. I just stood there quietly. I feel like I'm become bothersome to everyone around me.
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'Crash!' I heard plates continually falling to the floor. One right after the other like the way ducklings follow their mother.
I ran downstairs to see what happened as low and behold it was my mother going on one of her drunk rampages, throwing plates, cups, and basically anything she could find. She had her hair hanging in front of her face as an attempt to cover her eyes so I couldn't see her crying - oh but believe me I noticed. You could tell by the way she was breathing, abnormally. The way she whimpered every now and then because she couldn't keep in the sobs. Me, having no idea what to do I just stood there, staring at her.
Eventually, she looked up at me with bloodshot eyes and puffy eyelids from crying. Her hair still hung over some of her face, but less than before giving me a clearer shot at what she looked like. I've always wondered what happened to her to make her act like this. Like one day she would try to seem like she had her life together, trying to be the perfect mother, while other days she acted like this. I just wanted to know what caused it.
She started walking my way and stopped when she got right in front of me.
She looked me dead in the eyes and said,"It was a mistake having you." With that, she walked straight past me right after saying that giving me no time to absorb what she said, but once I did I broke. I just stood there letting my eyes slowly water before letting it all out.
